I'm sorry buddy.
So, Monday morning I'm getting ready to go back to the hospital to get cardioverted again, and en route, I have a massive heart attack.
I got to the ER, and they take me to the cath lab right away to get any blockages open. Only there weren't any blockages. My atrium have suffered so much damage, they are no longer wanting to work. My ejection fraction was at 8%, which is not very good at all, and the cardiologist went out to tell my wife that I probably wouldn't make it off the table. I could feel myself dying as I lay there, which is a surreal experience. They ended up cardioverting me anyway, and placed a balloon pump in my aorta. Super shitty day, but I made it through the night.
Next day, I find out I'm going to be on the balloon pump, which is basically making my heart pump for another day, and then they'll wean me off and see what happens. Half the staff think I'm a dead man, the other half are saying I've got a couple weeks.
Wednesday, they start to wean me off the pump, and I do fairly well with it, but I'm being heavily supplemented with drugs and oxygen. I'm being told that hospice has been notified, and that I need to get signed up for it ASAP. I actually come hope Wednesday evening and sleep until Thursday evening.
I'm on oxygen here at home, and I haven't signed up for hospice yet, but it will probably happening Monday.
tl;dr I'm dying and it sucks.
Happy to answer any questions or comments when I feel up to being on the computer. I'm also got a morale issue I need to address, and I'd like some feedback, but hopefully I have time to bring that up a bit later.
I'm sorry buddy.
That sucks Gravy, I guess I'm at a loss as I haven't had anyone I know face heart issues really so I'm kind of ignorant. There's no treatment or solution at this point, just waiting it out until your heart fails?
What do you say when there's nothing to be said. What do you do when there's nothing to be done.
We'll miss ya Gravy. Random fuckheads on the internet liked ya. You had a good wife, you have good children. Hopefully there won't be much terror in it.
You have some foreknowledge and that's a mixed blessing. You can get your affairs in order and make your peace with those close to you. That's something a lot don't get, and you've been given at least that much. And plus you know that one time the Dali Lama told you ""Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So you got that goin' for you, which is nice.
Last edited by Iannis; 11-15-2015 at 06:28 AM.
If it matters at all to you, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I hope you can find whatever peace you can and that you end up coming through this okay.
Random Internet Fuckhead and Terrible Mod that likes you
Is your moral issue that you laid with a ladyboy?
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Last edited by Harfle; 11-15-2015 at 06:42 AM. Reason: not that heartless
Do as much as you can with the time you have left, leave with as few regrets as possible. When it's your time it's your time. We're all going to be in your position someday.
To quote Harry Potter, for the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. Or maybe it's nothingness. Either way, once it comes, you won't mind so much anymore.
Consider me one of the random fuckheads on the internet that liked you.
This is the internet can't we find him a black market heart to transplant?
We didn't interact much but Im a random internet fuckwad who enjoyed your posts. I hope you have good quality time with those you love and are not in pain.
I don't like this thread.
What lead to this situation and why can't a pacemaker or artificial heart help?
First I learned you are white, now I learn you are dying. Hope you had a good run of things and don't have many lingering regrets. Your protons, neutrons, and electrons will be repurposed like everyone else's, and the electromagnetic waves you radiated will be part of the cosmos forever.
Last edited by drmandolin; 11-15-2015 at 09:08 AM.
I'll get in line and tell you I'm sorry man. Figured it was coming with the issues you had and it certainly is terrible to be taken early like you are. I was worried about you checking in not that long ago in the health thread and hope you'll continue to check in here and let someone you know to do so on your behalf if possible. Perhaps PM someone with some RL info so we can at least get a newspaper notice should you ultimately pass.
I hope you can beat the odds, get better and all that regardless of what the doctors say. There are a good number of people that beat the odds. I truly hope you will be one of them.
I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse to know ahead of time what might come. On one hand you get to have your affairs in order and on the other hand you get to lay there and wait. If it were me I think I'd be spending as much time as I could with my family and friends. Hoping for more as I cross over. Getting in touch with my loved ones and my spiritual side and I prepare myself. Obviously YMMV and so would mine as I'm not in that situation but that is what I'd think I would do.
Regardless of all that, thank you for your contribution to this community. I'm sure there are those that call you friend here and while I don't know you aside from just another name near your posts, a voice in TS or a shout on our shout box I will pray for you and your family while hoping you somehow beat the odds.
Last edited by Kedwyn; 11-15-2015 at 10:59 AM.
Last edited by Kedwyn; 11-15-2015 at 10:55 AM.
Can I have your stuff?
Light attempt at humour at a shitty situation
I'm sorry Gravy, I'm truly am. We may take the piss and flame each one another on this forum but we are at the end, a tight community. I do not wish harm on anyone who posts on here (yep, even Tanoomba).
I really hope you'll pull through. If there is anything we can do to help, please say so.
This sucks so bad
I can't lose my Uncle Gravy
This is horrible.
Wake up, log in to Rerolled for a quick laugh, and instead find out Gravy-bro is in dire straits. Fuck, now I'm a sad panda.
I hope you beat the odds, my friend.
Holy fuck. An EF of 8%. I am really sorry to hear about this, Gravy. If you haven't, (and I don't mean this to be insensitive), please get your affairs in order if you haven't. Is your support system going to assist you in the transition to hospice? Are you going to be at a care center or are you doing it at home?
I am sorry to hear Gravy. Feel free to PM me if you wish, my situation has changed as well over the past few months and I got a feeling we may share some of the same questions.
Stay strong and fight as long as you are able.
I'm really sad.
that someone made the 'can I have your stuff' joke before I saw the thread.
Yeah there's not a lot to be said here except you're a cool bro, and don't stop fighting, even if it seems hopeless.
If you're not getting positive nettz, you're not trying!
I hope you beat the odds with this and can't imagine what you must be going through.
Can you tell us what led up to all of this happening? It might help alert other forum members what pains to look out for that we might be sweeping under the rug.
Ouch dude, I hate it for you. I started a new job in July and someone who started with me was a cancer survivor. He found out he had leukemia a month after we started, and they've given him a short time frame as well. This was a guy who had two kids worked out, cared about his health. Life's just not fair man. I wish I knew something to help in this situation, but I didn't know anything to say to him either. It's unfair. I just hope you can enjoy the time you do have left, and miracles do happen.
I'm posting through some foggy eyes and a sniffly nose right now. No shit.
I know you live just one or two counties from me. I know you've got one of the best sense's of humor on here. You have always seemed to have had the inner strength not to stoop to low and insult people you disagree with. It's a strength I sometimes lack and something I have always admired in you. You walk on a slightly higher plane than most of us. That's the truth. You're one of the best posters we have here and I really hope you pull through this.
You've also given me an absolutely great time in fantasy football too, I must say. For several years now you and I have been in neck and neck competition for 'not last place' in our division and I must say, you really do make it fun man. The shit talk has been great and I'm still not sure if the Kelce/Manning trade was a good one or not, lol!
So we're up against each other today again and it's not gonna be the same. I'm gonna make all my pretend fantasy players wear a pretend KC patch on their sleeves today in your honor my forum friend. As a symbol of your fight to live, I encourage you to log on and edit your roster. You got two guys on a bye. Bench them before the games start. Give me one last ass-kicking. This is our last matchup this season (unless we both make the playoffs... lawl). It's a small token thing, but even those things matter. I hope you kick my ass today.
And I hope the Raiders lose. In fact, I'm changing my pick 'em in your honor.
I will also be drafting two kickers next year in your honor my friend.
Hang in there bro. It ain't over till it's over. Love ya bro.
Last edited by AngryGerbil; 11-15-2015 at 03:32 PM.
I'm not sure if this is appropriate, but I'm gonna follow my heart. I hope you take it the way I mean it, which is in the best possible way.
Funny, pleasant guy. All the best.
You know, if you could afford it you probably could afford to have your body cast in bronze instead of being buried or cremated.
Don't let them fuck you over with a view of window blnds at that fucking hospice, Gravy.
When I saw the thread title a few people came to mind as who could've posted it. Sad to hear this man. I mean we just found out you were white like a week ago.
Kidding aside you've always been a really positive and humorous member here, I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
Fucking thread sucks.
Originally Posted by Noodleface
Being born in Joplin and seeing your posts over the years established a regional and of course sports connection. You were one of my favorite posters and I truly am tearing up knowing I am going to lose a rerolled brother. If there is anyway you can fight this please do. Also if for whatever reason if you feel like talking pm me your number and we can talk about DT getting those 7 sacks or dark horse tavern in KC, or who has the best sauce or rub between Joes, Bryant's Etc.
Fuck going to miss you Gravy. I'll think of you the day we win the Super Bowl.
Last edited by Regime; 11-15-2015 at 05:24 PM.
Terrible, good luck. Sounds like it's hopeless but I hope you keep fighting brother
I love you Gravy.
One day I hope to be as attractive and well spoken as Tuco!
Keep up the good fight. That's a rough one to hear.
Godspeed Gravy, praying for you and your family.
Currently playing HotS and Overwatch
In my thoughts and prayers man. Always enjoyed reading your posts. God this thread sucks.
I dunno you Gravy. But I say, make the best of what time you have.
"Well, that was it. But I won't stop. I won't give up. Because when I look at what is happening in the world, I know that now, more than ever, ...we need to be all that we can be. Now, more than ever, ...we need the Jedi."
Holy shit man, I'm quite sad about this and I am truly at a loss and have no words. You were a kickass poster and a fellow Denison/Joplin/Rerolled brother. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
AMOD, we need a fitting tribute on these forums for Gravy.
Oh man, I don't post much, but you're among the ones that make me chuckle. I hope you do find some comfort knowing you brought smiles to people you don't even know.
That's brutal, man.
Fuck dude, I'm getting emotional. As pathetic as this sounds I've always viewed Rerolled as my internet family. It helps that half the posters seem to be from WV but whatever. Keep fighting the good fight Uncle Gravy. We'll miss you. You are one of the best
Play this song on repeat. You can't snuff the Gravy.
oderint dum metuant
Damn. 3 months ago I was close to that but I had blockages to be cleared. I go for a test in 2 weeks to find out where my EF is at but then it was at 15%, fuck man. Just Fuck. There, but for the grace of God, go I.
I have lost two very close individuals to me this year. Yes, I do not know who you are Gravy, except you're a Kansas City Chiefs fan and a few weeks back, we went head-to-head. But as others have mentioned, especially in the football thread, we're family. And I am still hurting from loosing family this year.
Give it all you got - especially with advances in medical technology - you need to stick around to listen to each of us taunt our team.
Sorry to hear this Gravy, sending you all the best I can. As mentioned earlier in this thread, foreknowledge is powerful and can definitely help with your family. I lost my father in 2007 with zero foreknowledge and it was extremely sudden and me and my brother have found that to be the most difficult part of his passing. So do what others say in this thread - live your moments as best you can, leave as few regrets as possible. In the meantime, will be hoping you beat the odds.
Wrong person, wrong time. Respect and love to you and yours.
(PS. I thought browsing the screenshots and seeing tranny dicks was supposed to strengthen the heart, not weaken it. Can any doctor-bro explain?)
Have you tried Cinnamilk?
Cooking thread won't be the same without you.
Goddamn it Gravy!!
I want to say more but what the fuck do you say? If there's anything we can do I'm sure I'm not the only one in saying let us know Gravy. As much as everyone hates each other here sometimes I'd like to think we always look out for each other.
Last edited by Tred; 11-16-2015 at 01:04 AM.
He's been talking about having some serious heart problems in the Health Care thread for awhile.
This isn't Alexiftl or whatever that retard's name was that faked butthole cancer for ESO beta keys or whatever it was he was doing.
Anyway, I remember it seemed odd at times, back in EQ and WoW, if you heard some bad RL news about a member of the guild it was an emotional time. Even though you would never meet that person in RL, mabye didn't know their name, and back in the EQ days we generally had never heard each others voices since it predated the vent/mumble/TS sorts of stuff.
I haven't played an MMO for years now and probably never will again. Sometimes the one thing I miss is the locker room style camaraderie of being in a guild. Reading about this now I again get those same strange emotions for someone I've never met, will never meet, have never heard speak, and don't know his real name. So I guess this place is the closest thing to my guild now. The guild chat wouldn't be the same without such a great member for sure.
Glad to see KC send Manning to the fucking bench like a little bitch today bro.
Gravy has been pretty open with his health issues, of all the forum members he's one of the ones I take at his word for everything he says. One of the good guys.
There's no doubt in my mind it's legit. Taking a few extra puffs for ya right now Gravybro. As stupid as it might sound.
I'm sorry, Gravy. The words seem hollow, but yeah. There isn't really anything you can say to something like this.
You will be remembered, though. I won't forget you. I know lots of us won't.
Every time I have some turkey and gravy I'll think of you. Well anything involving gravy I guess. Glad I like you or that could be really fucking annoying! :P
I'm so sorry to hear this, Gravy.
Please, do us a favor so we can do you a favor. Pick someone here that you know and/or trust, and shoot them a PM with some contact information and keep in touch when you can. Like Regime, Joeboo, myself or a number of others who are somewhat local to you. If you need anything, let them know. Maybe friend them on FB if you have a FB account. Or failing that, maybe go ahead and get that person's address and pre-write a notification letter addressed to them in the case that you do pass on so we all know what happened and you don't just fade away into the "Gravy hasn't posted in awhile..." limbo that so frequently happens. Or, in the event that you manage to hang on and things start looking up, maybe a few of us can drive down there and try sneaking some BBQ in to you (we'll write "Healthy Salad" on the container).
The upside is that you're still here, so you still have a shot at pulling through this somehow. I know that it might sound corny, but I have to say it: don't give up.
Shit, I pretty much never go in the Grown Up forum. Not sure why I did today.
I'm hoping maybe they missed something they can treat you with.
As has been mentioned, most of us don't know each other, but I feel like we're an incredibly tight knit family here. If it's your last days, I hope you can enjoy the hell out of them.
Keep fighting no matter what. No matter what. RR is with you.
Dunno why this bothers me so much. It's just another random faggot on the Internet. Fucking thing sucks.
Fuck. This sucks, G. My thoughts are with you and your family. You're one of my favorites. I hope you beat the odds.
If it gives you some fire to fight with in 2002 I was 300 lbs with a rapidly growing tumor. The tumor caused a bloody clot that passed into my lungs. I was hospitalized for three months. It got to the point where the tumor had grown so large I couldn't breath with 10/10 pain. It took 60mg of morphine over an hour to allow me to breath.
At that point a doctor came in and explained there was nothing further they could do beyond keeping me comfortable. It was just a few days later they sent me down and they drained two liters of necrotic tumor cells/tissue/whatever. That relieved all the pressure from breathing.
I eventually recovered enough to go home. Not before heading back due to severe anxiety attacks. Hooked me up with some Xanax and I managed to recover after a couple years.
So for damn sure keep fighting.
When you stand in front of the Old Man/Lady, you won't be alone, lots of us will think of you... and we're all headed there eventually...give 'em Hell, Gravy. All my best.
You'll be missed bro. If i had a facebook, I could probably save you by getting everyone to send you prayers. Damn me and my luddite ways.
Oh yeah, and when death comes for you, do not embrace him with open arms. Punch him repeatedly in the throat as he drags you away.
Be sure to arrange for someone to let us know what's going on. If not someone on the forum, then give a family member your login info or something.
Gravy, you were always one of the good ones. You brought a lot of people joy and friendship. Keep fighting man.
Good luck dude. If you die, try to eat some garlic and come back like Wizardhawk did.
That reminds me. Do me a favor. Haunt Hodj.
Nothing major. Just little poltergeist stuff like hide his car keys and move his dresser to the other side of the room while he's out of the house.
It would drive him insane. Literally insane. A++ use of ghost powers.
I'm with Iannis. If you're going to go, go with the most +++++++nets you can get by haunting Hodj and giving the big boss the finger from RR.
I may have paraphrased, but I know that's what he meant.
Fucking sucks. This the result of a genetic condition or bad luck?
A fib is when one chamber is not pumping properly. Specifically the right side of your body and the two chambers end up out of sync. One side, the exit, is doing the proper work but the input side is not. This can be fixed by shock, drugs, pacemaker, removing the blockage etc.. Case like this (afib no blockage) would be something you would consider a pacemaker (bradycardia) / drugs for, so that those chambers pump correctly and you don't end up with heart damage.
Now when you have a heart attack and the muscles actually start dying due to lack of Oxygen that becomes a bigger issue. His ejection fraction is essentially how much blood his heart is able to move out of the left ventricle of the heart to the rest of the body. Normal is 50-70, obviously 8 is very bad and anything below 40 is indicative of heart failure or disease impacting the muscles of the heart. Since we aren't Klingons with redundant organs that is obviously a bad thing.
Cause? Likely genetics and lifestyle. Especially uncontrolled high blood pressure.
Last edited by Kedwyn; 11-16-2015 at 06:56 AM.
Why no heart transplants in this situation?
I remember you gave me some shit at Three Kings for wearing a Bengals hat instead of a Reds one in STL territory. I thought that was badass because I would have done the exact same thing to an Internet stranger in that situation. You are exactly like your Internet personality. You'll pull through. Because you're a beast.
I don't know why everyone thought you weren't white.
RR br0s - I have Gravy's number. I'll hit him up tomorrow.
Last edited by Alex; 11-16-2015 at 08:11 AM.
Be with your loved ones with as much time as you have left Gravy. The NFL thread will not be the same without you.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)