in before "No, you should be honest with HR and tell them you're a fag"
without going into too much detail here, I recently left my job for a better opportunity with a similar organization. within my previous company, it was very obvious that they had a bias to promote and protect minority candidates -- women, blacks, homosexuals. obviously i'm not going to pass for a woman or a black, but i'm thinking it might be to my advantage if i identified myself as a fag on HR paperwork. what do you guys think?
in before "No, you should be honest with HR and tell them you're a fag"
You should tell them you're a gay otherkin
A better solution would be to take a cool bro in with you, and just suck him off and fuck him in the ass right there in front of HR.
Its not gay when its sodomy with a purpose.
I wonder if they'd still believe you were gay if they knew you had a baby with Tenley?
Last edited by Sparklerad; 08-04-2015 at 02:43 PM.
Go for something more cutting edge and hip. Tell them you're gender fluid. That way if one of the HR gays becomes suspicious and tries feeling you out you can always claim you're having a masculine day and not really feeling down for teh cack.
This can be a good tactic, but be careful. The last time I did this, I ended up having to suck the entire executive team off and I still didn't get the job.
That is not really something they should be asking you on your paperwork, sheesh. Do people really do that these days? Unless you are going to work for a Catholic hospital/school or Hobby Lobby or Chik-Fil-A or some shit, that I can see.
Sounds like something it might be alot more trouble than its worth to pull off, unless your HR department is like located across the country from your workplace. All it takes is one dude to say, LOL he's not gay, I saw him at X with Y and then you could possibly be fucked.
Since it's almost certainly against federal law to ask a prospective employee their sexual orientation, yeah, you're trolling.
What job asks your sexual orientation? I've never seen that on any resume or application.
Possibly a university might ask it in a completely voluntary and anonymous way, to ensure that they are meeting certain hiring quotas in order to maintain a certain demographic mix for the purpose of continuing to receive federal funding.
I'm not saying that this is for sure the case, only conjecturing that mebbe that could happen?
I know they ask sexual orientation and stuff for the students for similar reasons.
I always check the "Other" boxes on sexual orientation and ethnicity.
Just for the lolz
Maybe he's interviewing for a job in the porn trade. I'm sure it would come up with those fine folks.
They do it because they make more than they would doing straight porn.
Men make roughly 500 bucks a gig doing straight porn, women are paid significantly higher, and itemize based on whether they do anal, vaginal, oral, fisting, prolapse, etc.
Men who do gay porn can itemize in a similar fashion, and so get a higher wage.
So they literally don't give a shit in porn. If you'll suck a dick for cash, it doesn't matter if you're a fag in your every day life or not.
Gender fluid, trans native American disabled veteran = max points
Just walk in bend over and grasp the desk. You are now ready for employment.
I just tell them I'm an upper-middle-class heterosexual white male, we all high five, and I get into middle management where I can hide my laziness and incompetence.
You'll never pull it off Keg, you might be able to get away with banging a hot chick and pretending you were drunk and just experimenting but when your fat as shit pregnant girlfriend starts coming around they'll sniff out your true colors instantly.
Could maybe get away with claiming to be gender fluid, because nobody at HR will want to touch that with a 10 foot pole.
Sue them on the first day and then when you get fired you can claim it was over the lawsuit and get millions
LGBT is so vague who cares. They can't share it, if they get suspicious and you say you are bi what could they do? Ask for video proof? If you always out with women and/or bros how could they tell the difference.
As a guy it is nearly impossible to break into straight porn unless you also bring the girl(s). If you can prove you can keep a boner doing some gay shit you might have a chance of getting a straight gig.
As to the op, I'd totally put down gay, but you'd better be able to back it up. Much like dude porn stars having to go 'gay for pay' if you want to get that minority promotion you might end up having to back up your claims. Probably much in the same manner a girl gets the 'I'm a hot chick' promotion.
I put down black woman so I can get into IT project management.
Tell them you're a lesbian.
Kaige#1128 - Battle.net
Kaige - Steam
Just tell them you listen to Nickelback that way they'll know you aren't lying.
PSN: Araxen, Xbox Live: Araxen II, WiiU: Araxen, Steam: Araxen
The plot to an Adam Sandler Movie can't be good for continued employment.
Oh, and just pull out the list of pronouns you identify with. Should do the trick
The pragmatic and Machiavellian Darwinian political answer is to put 'other' for everything.
Try to exist in the philosophical grey-area.
No one with a General Anthony level of homicidal ideations in their psyche can find you there. At least? I dunno. Shit.
Just keep sucking dick and be honest about it. We won't judge you.
Last edited by AngryGerbil; 08-05-2015 at 03:59 AM.
Rachel Dolezal did it, why cant you? Tell them you identify with being a gay black man.
Last edited by ili; 08-05-2015 at 12:22 PM.
I don't understand why you're being asked this, and it seems borderline illegal.
They usually ask you to self identify age, race, gender (for companies with government contracts there are diversity minimums they must maintain), but never had them ask for sexuality, and I work at MegaCorp.
If you're already late, may as well mastur-nate.
The French made a really funny movie about a guy pretending to be crippled in a wheelchair in order to get a promotion.
Willkommen bei den Sch'tis-ein Kinofilm verzaubert die Franzosen (TV Episode 2008) - IMDb
Seems like your requested life advice in 90 minutes.
More to the OP, no, just don't. Any type of lie to HR can come back to haunt you, so unless you want to walk on eggshells during the entire career and risk losing it over a pointless lie - no. My company was super lenient about firing people where we required a multi-stage order before we fired someone, but if they lied to HR, all bets were off and they didn't even get a warning with their first error instead of warning, minor penalty, firing. (for the worst case stuff - minor stuff was a much longer cycle - basically unless you were violent or stealing was the only other way for a quick firing, everything else was warn, minor penalty, fire or more mild)
b) I was human resources, not management proper - last (and only) time I was an assistant manager would be in the early 90's with a Babbage's =p (I was educated in the late 90's though)
I literally did nothing but hiring and training (and disciplinary paperwork, not that I normally needed to do the disciplining personally except when the rare lawsuit happened, always had me have to be a witness for our side - weee) - with 400 staff at my last location and opening new locations every two years or so (since that was my focus) - and I hate training so I had the longterm HR folk (we'd have 3 at a location generally, me the "opener" that would lead until I left for the next open - the longterm HR lead and then their HR assistant) handle it as much as possible, so I did lots and lots of hiring. And we did have people fill out the EOE paperwork for the tax benefits - which ours certainly didn't ask orientation.
And from anything I'm seeing to see if there's been updates made I don't see it. I've stopped getting HR mags since my move however - weren't relevant to me anymore and didn't bother updating my address. Not that I'd read the past few years anyhow.
PS - I'd have actually made more if I was an ASM I think, their base salary was higher (way more work though) - think they tended to get fewer bonuses however. But ASM's at our company literally did zero hiring as well outside of helping me multitask interviews during mass hiring phases pre-opening.
Did we ever decide who paid keg the nickle?
Only morons fire someone because they are gay. There's a 1,000 legal things you can fire even a great employee for. The easiest is to lay someone off and change the title of the person you hire to replace them.
I'd pretend to be gay if I got to jiggle Jessica Biel's tits.
Patience and being hypercritical is often enough pressure to either make people quit or slip up enough to make enough errors to get removed though with patience however as well, in my experience. Same net, but different angle.
I would say lying in writing for a job is always a good idea. Never a bad reason to go ahead and give them a reason to terminate you.
Seems to me like he has nothing to lose. If he doesn't lie he will most likely be looked over for promotions ending up in the same spot that he was in before.
It's a lie they can't legally ask you to confirm and in many cases you can't.
No need to outright say you're gay. Talk with a lisp. When and if you feel you're being held back, drop that you're gay. The lisp will pretty much confirm it. Along with the gay ass clothes you used to post in the fashion thread on the FoH board.
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