View Poll Results: Have you cheated?

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  • Yes

    51 22.47%
  • No

    155 68.28%
  • I'm not sure if what happened counts...

    21 9.25%
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Thread: Have you cheated?

  1. #1
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    Rainbow Icon Have you cheated?

    It kinda seems like most people have, at least once. You hear sob stories from friends, so you figure it must happen a lot right? I'm kind of sickeningly interested in the personal lives of strangers, so tell me: have you?

    I haven't really, but I've done something just as bad, if not worse. For a while when I was like 21 I dated a married guy, and the really weird part was that he had a 14 year old and a 16 year old daughter. He was air force and about 40, and we had to sneak around a lot like we were still high school kids. I'm not proud of it but so long as she never finds out I don't regret it at all (I'm 24 now, hope he never tells her).

    your turn!

  2. #2
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    temp poll thread

    I added a poll to this topic. It's anonymous and I don't think it's possible to make it unanonymous.

    As for me, I've only known one woman and have never cheated on her.

  3. #3
    Registered Dragonlord Deathwing's Avatar
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    Not sure you're going to get many cheaters on this forum.

    But a more interesting tangent, how did it feel to date your dad?

  4. #4
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Yes, but it was a high school relationship so not sure if that counts. I was in a 4 month relationship (that ended up lasting like 2 years) with a shitty guy. I was 16, stupid and I ended up sleeping with an older guy I'd had a crush on since I was 13.

  5. #5
    so privileged Drinsic's Avatar
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    When did you know you were gay?

  6. #6
    Rerolled Desserter McCheese's Avatar
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    I've never cheated and the very idea of it disgusts me. I'm an extremely trusting and trustworthy person, and I expect (rather foolishly in my experience) to have that reciprocated. I've never understood relationships which stay together after cheating. For me that is an instant relationship death sentence.

  7. #7
    That Japan guy Chysamere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McCheese View Post
    I've never cheated and the very idea of it disgusts me. I'm an extremely trusting and trustworthy person, and I expect (rather foolishly in my experience) to have that reciprocated. I've never understood relationships which stay together after cheating. For me that is an instant relationship death sentence.
    Quoting for perfection

  8. #8
    Dr. Ruse Ruseberg Tarrant's Avatar
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    Never cheated but been cheated on which ended a 8 year relationship/marriage.

    I never understood cheating, if you aren't happy just leave the person you're with. Anyways, after being cheated on I know how bad it feels to be in that position and vowed to never do it myself.

  9. #9
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    I find my opinions on the subject change based on what works of literature I've read recently. When I was dating the married guy I was rediscovering Heinlein, which I think explains a lot.

  10. #10
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McCheese View Post
    I've never cheated and the very idea of it disgusts me. I'm an extremely trusting and trustworthy person, and I expect (rather foolishly in my experience) to have that reciprocated. I've never understood relationships which stay together after cheating. For me that is an instant relationship death sentence.
    Once I grew up and stopped being a selfish, fucked up child I held the same opinion as you do. My husband is the world to me and I could never imagine hurting him or being hurt like that. I don't think I could stay in relationship where my partner cheated. :\

  11. #11
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    I technically cheated on my ex, but it wasn't a big deal. She cheated on me, I was 3k miles away and got drunk and slayed a dragon. Not my finest hour, but I didn't really feel guilty or anything, we were still together on a matter of paperwork after that so whatever.

  12. #12
    Registered User Solariss's Avatar
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    I've never cheated on anybody.... But I've been with 2 girls that had boyfriends, one being an ex of mine. I basically had another girl break up with her boyfriend, but she wouldn't do anything with me until she did. I did date her for a while, so I'm not an entirely horrible person

  13. #13
    Registered User Vandyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    I technically cheated on my ex, but it wasn't a big deal. She cheated on me, I was 3k miles away and got drunk and slayed a dragon. Not my finest hour, but I didn't really feel guilty or anything, we were still together on a matter of paperwork after that so whatever.
    Same as me, ex started sleeping around, which in turn led to me moving out and sleeping around, which in turn led to divorce. I never felt guilty about it either, once she did the deed I knew the relationship was already over.

    Things like that happen when you get married young and stupid.

  14. #14
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vandyn View Post

    Things like that happen when you get married young and stupid.
    Yes, god yes. I only wish someone had been there to tell me what a moran I was for getting married so young. Not that I would have listened, but at least I'd know who had my back.

  15. #15
    Hates Donkeys n' Draegans Fuse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McCheese View Post
    I've never cheated and the very idea of it disgusts me. I'm an extremely trusting and trustworthy person, and I expect (rather foolishly in my experience) to have that reciprocated. I've never understood relationships which stay together after cheating. For me that is an instant relationship death sentence.
    Pretty much this.

    Im kinda suprised by the results of this poll, this place is not quite the hive of scum and villany I thought it was.

  16. #16
    Registered User Szeth's Avatar
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    Never cheated... unless you count having sex with a girl that has a boyfriend. Is that cheating on the guys part?

  17. #17
    Retired RR Pantheon Mod Convo's Avatar
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    Hah I've been accused of it multiple times but I never have.. I have hooked up with girls who were in relationships, engaged and married. I actually didn't know about most of them until after tho. Shit happens I guess..

  18. #18
    Registered User Insomnia's Avatar
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    I have never cheated, closest I ever came to it was when we had threesomes (3 times), with her and her friends. They set them all up so its not like I egged any of them on. My brothers friend actually ended up getting divorced the one time they did it, thankfully nothing negative ever came back on me.

  19. #19
    Registered User Lithose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemone View Post
    I find my opinions on the subject change based on what works of literature I've read recently. When I was dating the married guy I was rediscovering Heinlein, which I think explains a lot.
    It explains a lot about women, yes. Or men pretending to be women.
    Last edited by Lithose; 12-13-2012 at 07:53 PM.

  20. #20
    The guy with the gun BrutulTM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuse View Post
    Pretty much this.

    Im kinda suprised by the results of this poll, this place is not quite the hive of scum and villany I thought it was.
    A big factor in the amount of cheating is opportunity. With some exceptions, MMO enthusiasts aren't known for having tons of loose women flocking around them.

    I have never cheated, but I don't get too sanctimonious about it because at the risk of exposing myself as not being an international playboy, it's not like I have turned down a whole lot of free pussy.
    Last edited by BrutulTM; 12-13-2012 at 08:01 PM.

  21. #21
    Hates Donkeys n' Draegans Fuse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrutulTM View Post
    A big factor in the amount of cheating is opportunity. With some exceptions, MMO enthusiasts aren't known for having tons of loose women flocking around them.
    Hah, yeah, good point.

  22. #22
    Rerolled Desserter McCheese's Avatar
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    To be fair, according to the RL Picture Thread in Screenshots, there are a lot of people on this site that aren't basement dwelling mongoloids. With a couple exceptions I doubt anyone who posted a picture in that thread would have a terribly hard time of getting at least an average chick.

    Of course, apparently everyone in this community is either a tranny or has ass burgers so maybe that's why we don't cheat.

  23. #23
    Mister Manager Eyashusa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemone View Post
    I find my opinions on the subject change based on what works of literature I've read recently. When I was dating the married guy I was rediscovering Heinlein, which I think explains a lot.
    I can grok this.

    I said no because I assumed it was marriage only. I cheated on a two girls I was dating in high school/college but I'll justify one of the instances by saying that the girl was crazy and in her mind, our relationship was exclusive, but I didn't feel that way... and I even told her that I didn't feel that way.

  24. #24
    The guy with the gun BrutulTM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McCheese View Post
    To be fair, according to the RL Picture Thread in Screenshots, there are a lot of people on this site that aren't basement dwelling mongoloids. With a couple exceptions I doubt anyone who posted a picture in that thread would have a terribly hard time of getting at least an average chick.

    Of course, apparently everyone in this community is either a tranny or has ass burgers so maybe that's why we don't cheat.
    Yeah, and going out in search of some strange is worse in a way than getting seduced by somebody in a weak moment. I just like it when some fat, toothless dude that hasn't showered in a week is all "Shame on you Brett Favre, I would never cheat on Lurleen". It's not really the same level of temptation.

  25. #25
    Registered User Vandyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Yes, god yes. I only wish someone had been there to tell me what a moran I was for getting married so young. Not that I would have listened, but at least I'd know who had my back.
    Haha, well in my case people did warn me not to do it but I did anyway because I thought I was so smart (and in love, don't forget that one). Looking back on it now, I have a hard time understanding how anyone gets married before they're in their 20's, at least 21 if not a little older. The scary proposition is how I'm going to handle that if my daughter comes to me at 19 saying she wants to get married.

  26. #26
    Satan Kissed My Dog Pollo's Avatar
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    Multiple times, no regrets. Guess I'm just an asshole like that.

  27. #27
    Iksar Boots Alkorin's Avatar
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    Never, and won't. When I got married, I said some words that included something about something something as long as we both shall live. How hard is this for some people to understand, anyway?

  28. #28
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrutulTM View Post
    A big factor in the amount of cheating is opportunity. With some exceptions, MMO enthusiasts aren't known for having tons of loose women flocking around them.

    I have never cheated, but I don't get too sanctimonious about it because at the risk of exposing myself as not being an international playboy, it's not like I have turned down a whole lot of free pussy.
    I agree with this.

  29. #29
    Registered Smurf Selix's Avatar
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    I have not cheated since I have been married but before marriage I had absolutely no rules or limits. I've cheated, been cheated on, been in open relationships, and friends with benefits.

    I've had a women fall in love with me then while I was at work tell the apartment manager she was my wife and she forgot her key so she would let him in where she then moved all her shit in. I kept screwing her crazy has for another 6 months until I moved out in the middle of the night and didn't tell her where I went. She found out anyway and moved into my new apartment the same way. Did eventually get away from her but she still calls me sometimes and asks to hang out but I tell her I am married and not to call. Had my wife tell her that to.


    Also dated a girl whose fiancee was in the military and away fighting for the country but I DID NOT KNOW THIS at the time. Things were great until she just out of the blue wanted a 1 month break. Then a month later she shows up ready to take our trip to Chicago together screwing the whole way down and back. Eventually found out the break was because her fiancee was home. She also gave me my biggest pregnancy scare ever.

    Got cheated on when a girl who I was dating after cheating with her on her other boyfriend decided to cheat on me with my best friend. Karma bitch slapped me three ways and twice on Sunday and boy did I ever deserve it. But god damn she had the most perfect fucking body I have ever fucked. I mean a tiny but round firm ass, D cups that were perky WITHOUT A BRA, perfectly flat tummy, perfect white teeth and skin complexion. She was a walking model and I never figured out how I landed her in the first place.

  30. #30
    Registered User Zombie Thorne's Avatar
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    Current relationship, no. Never plan to.

    Past relationships, yes. Some deserved, some not. Feel bad about a few.

  31. #31
    How's your arm, John? Teddite's Avatar
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    I have cheated.
    I'll spare you all the essay and just give the short version:
    I dated a girl for 2 years, and over the course of the relationship I learned that she was kind of dumb. I somehow mistook dumbness for cuteness or something, I don't know. I became embarrassed of her, and always came up with excuses for why she wasn't meeting my friends and family. I began to resent her, but thinking I was being a good guy, didn't break up with her. Sex life got stagnant, etc, etc. She eventually cheated on me with a guy that was willing to pay way more attention than I was. We break up, she feels like garbage for a while, then get back together. A few weeks into our second go at it, I drink a bunch and sleep with her best friend. It was a wake up call. We break up for good and are still kind of friends now 8+ years later.

    While it drove me mad back then, I get why she cheated on me now. I was very neglectful of her. When someone else came around and payed attention, it must have felt great. Not that I excuse her behavior, but I understand it. I make no excuses for myself either, what I did was awful too, but I learned from it.

  32. #32
    Registered User dioblaire's Avatar
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    Came pretty damn close a couple of times in the past, but never actually put my "thang in the girls thang" (rough Boyz in the Hood quote). Did regret it, felt like shit.

  33. #33
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    I've never cheated, though I have been in some odd situations where I was probably by all accounts in a relationship with multiple women, but they knew each other and were okay with it.

    I also had a fetish for taken women in highschool/college but I got into a serious relationship in my mid 20's and she cheated on me (for absolutely retarded reasons) but I got a taste of what it was like and cut that shit out.

  34. #34
    Rav Scam-Free Zone
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    Only cheated once. I really liked the girl I was with but she had vaginismus so we never had sex, though she gave mean head. I had sex with an ex because it was easier to cheat than discuss the issue with my gf (fucked up yes I know). Gf snooped my email, found emails, broke up. We eventually got back together, discussed the issue, she got physical therapy, we were able to have sex regularly, broke up two years later over unrelated issues.

    Never hurt someone so much and will never cheat again.

  35. #35
    Satan Kissed My Dog Pollo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneofOne View Post
    vaginismus
    Yeah...had to look that up. Not something you hear about every day.

    Vaginismus

  36. #36
    Registered User Turkish's Avatar
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    No. And, personally, I believe that cheating is for people who are too chickenshit scared of being lonely to end a relationship like an adult. Many people are like monkeys; they don't let go of one branch before they have a firm grip on another. Either that, or they are looking for a better excuse than "I'm not happy with this relationship" in order to end things.

  37. #37
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    Is it cheating if your partner knows about it?

  38. #38
    Registered User Lithose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cutlery View Post
    Is it cheating if your partner knows about it?
    I'd say that's more of an open relationship? I actually know someone who is married and set up like that. They seem to be very happy, and they are honest with each other, so I wouldn't say it's cheating. A core tenant of cheating, in my opinion, is tricking or deceiving your spouse/partner.

  39. #39
    Registered User wantonsoup's Avatar
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    I met my wife 2 days after moving out of an ex's place, although not officially broken up, next morning went right over there and had to spell it out for her that it was over.

  40. #40
    Registered User TheBeagle's Avatar
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    I've done it a few times, and my lack of guilt told me that maybe I shouldn't be getting into any serious relationships. Last few years have just been a meaningless string of thirty-something single moms from POF and a couple of old girlfriends from way back that found me on Facebook. It's pretty hollow and I'm thinking I'm bout ready to try out the relationship thing again.

  41. #41
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cutlery View Post
    Is it cheating if your partner knows about it?
    I think the partner gets to decide whether it's cheating or not in that case.

  42. #42
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    Never cheated in a serious relationship, but I've been the cheatiee a couple of times.

    Btw, the styling on polls is an assault to my eyelids.

  43. #43
    Basically Retarded mizovax's Avatar
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    I dated a girl for about 8 months. After the relationship ended, I found out that she was using me to cheat on her boyfriend. They officially broke up at some point during the relationship, and then she cheated on me with him at the end.

  44. #44
    HE A GOOD BOY Iannis's Avatar
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    I'm not really sure. Which is to say if either of the girls had ever accused me of cheating I would have taken the lumps for it -- but I didn't feel like what I was doing at the time was cheating and still honestly don't. The first was in college. I was dating a girl (had been for over a year) and we'd really never talked about monogomy... but to be fair we both assumed it. So I got drunk and laid at a party and never told her about it -- but it's not like it was a secret either, the two of them knew each other and were friendly. And to be equally fair I know she'd done similar. I dunno, it just wasn't that big of a deal -- but I guess I cheated on her.

    The weird one was a good friend of mines wife. It didn't get physical, but there was an emotional investment on both our parts. When it threatened to get physical it freaked me the FUCK out and... well, I ran away like a bitch tbh. I really just didn't think about what I was doing or what was happening while I was doing it. So when my brain caught up to my dick I freaked and stopped all contact (basically hid from them) for about 2 months. I called my friend out of the blue and we had this really kind of awkward conversation about it. He didn't blame me... and he wasn't all that surprised or upset. He was in a bad spot and he knew it. They got divorced a few years later.

  45. #45
    Registered User Wintermute's Avatar
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    I've never cheated. Given infinite opportunity I still wouldn't. I'm a hard ass about that, I can't stand disloyalty. It wouldn't just be my relationship, it's my character at stake. If you are going to cheat, just break up with the person.

  46. #46
    Registered User Kedwyn's Avatar
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    Never. I love my wife, wouldn't want anyone else but her and frankly I'm lucky as hell to have such an awesome woman.

  47. #47
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Look, I love my wife, I love her and my family more than anything. But all this "Never, never in a million years, she is my sun and moon and stars" shit is bs. If you don't cheat, a huge part of that reason is that you consciously avoid situations that may lead to cheating. But relationships go through ebbs and flows, everyone can be tempted, everyone can fuck up. Now I can understand saying you would never want to, and I agree with that, but taking it much further beyond that doesn't seem very realistic to me.

  48. #48
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Look, I love my wife, I love her and my family more than anything. But all this "Never, never in a million years, she is my sun and moon and stars" shit is bs. If you don't cheat, a huge part of that reason is that you consciously avoid situations that may lead to cheating. But relationships go through ebbs and flows, everyone can be tempted, everyone can fuck up. Now I can understand saying you would never want to, and I agree with that, but taking it much further beyond that doesn't seem very realistic to me.
    Maybe I haven't been married long enough (8 years) to have these ebbs and flows, but honestly this doesn't make sense to me. I have never found myself even thinking about cheating let alone actively avoiding situations just in case there is an opportunity. I don't believe not cheating is a decision you have to make, I honestly believe that in the right relationship it isn't even a consideration.

    I have been in a relationship where I cheated, where I looked around and where I wasn't satisfied. That obviously wasn't the right relationship for me. Once I met my husband, none of that ever crossed my mind. That feels natural to me.

    Dunno!

  49. #49
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    I'm ridiculously sleep deprived right now, I'm probably just not explaining myself well. In my head, it makes sense what I am saying. But what you say is true also. I know that I belong with my wife, I don't want anyone else, I don't think about cheating or whatever. And yet, I still exercise caution because I have seen so many cases where the person wasn't plotting to cheat, they just got into some situation and temptation prevailed. It is easy to say "I would never" sitting in front of a computer screen, a bit harder when Scarlett Johannson is begging for your penis, as she is wont to do. Obviously I don't mean that as a real example. Overall I just think taking that factor out of it is probably just a better idea.

  50. #50
    BamboozledTwentyFourSeven Illuziun's Avatar
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    I've come to realize after living in quite a few cities while still being young, that the odds of a girlfriend cheating on you are greatly affected by the area that you live in and what age group you're in. Obviously, anyone can cheat at any age or any location, but the odds of it happening very under many factors.

    For instance, in the Midwest, I know about 20+ people that are all happily married, most with kids, and all under 30. These relationships were built mostly in the final years of high school through college. They are happy with what is available to them, and in general they don't see a benefit in cheating. They have a spouse in which they enjoy and have a sense of accomplishment in life, they don't seek improvement, they settle and enjoy.

    Now out West, completely fucking different. I know even more people on the West Coast than I do in the Midwest, and NONE of them are married, and very few have happy relationships, why? Well, after living out here for a while now and being able to compare both locations, the ideology of the purpose in life is completely different than compared to the Midwest. People out here always want the next best thing, they always want to advance and make improvements on themselves, and that goes for relationships as well as life. The idea of locking into a single lifestyle, and basically ending life progression is like a raging nightmare to people out here. How this relates to relationships is that whether it is the guy or the girl, they are always on the hunt for something better, and this puts relationship stability into a shit hole. “Why should I stay with so’n’so when I can get something better?” That is the question that the majority of people ask themselves out here, and they most often go for the seemingly better option.

    Then add the fact that the odds of an attractive girl cheating on you out West are like 95%. They have millionaire twenty-somethings throwing themselves at them on a daily basis. You add a few drinks and some smooth talking, and your girl is getting fucked. It is honestly stupid wasting your time in a relationship with an attractive girl out here, not at least until 35 and she finally realizes her fake tits don’t hold up any more and the new hotter flock has taken over all the new wallets.

  51. #51
    Kinky Euro Ronaan's Avatar
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    Been "the other guy" a few times and I'm not really proud. Penis needed the workout yadda yadda. I was young and an asshole.

    Oh and in one case (technically two because we did it again 8 years later) I was really in love with the woman in question but she just wanted to be a cheater.

    Never cheated on someone I was in a relationship with.

  52. #52
    Dabamf
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    When I was in Korea dating donut girl I had a female friend in Seoul who I'd go out drinking with. Later in the night she'd start giving me this look. It was the most seductive look I've ever seen, soul-piercing. I tried with all my might to fight it but I couldn't. We had the most terrible sex every time, just hating myself during and after. The next day I'd say "we're never doing this again." We'd hang out and I'd say "you better not give me that look" then we'd get drunk and she'd do it again. Happened like 5 or 6 times, and only at the end did I somehow manage to break free of her spell. Not getting plastered helps.

    I still don't know why she wanted to sleep with me anyway. The sex was one of the worst I've ever had, and I'm pretty sure it was about 95% my fault.

  53. #53
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    Is it technically cheating, if they cheat first?

  54. #54
    0011101000101001 Silence's Avatar
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    Never cheated, but came wicked close a few times. Still kicking myself in the ass for not shagging my steaming hot friend.

  55. #55
    Registered User Pops's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Yes, god yes. I only wish someone had been there to tell me what a moran I was for getting married so young. Not that I would have listened, but at least I'd know who had my back.
    It's not cheating if you are drunk or out of town.

    At least I got the right poster, but not the right post.

  56. #56
    Iksar Boots Alkorin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Look, I love my wife, I love her and my family more than anything. But all this "Never, never in a million years, she is my sun and moon and stars" shit is bs. If you don't cheat, a huge part of that reason is that you consciously avoid situations that may lead to cheating. But relationships go through ebbs and flows, everyone can be tempted, everyone can fuck up. Now I can understand saying you would never want to, and I agree with that, but taking it much further beyond that doesn't seem very realistic to me.
    Let me repeat this just for you, since you're telling me it's bullshit: I will NEVER cheat on my wife. Not because she's my sun and moon and stars, but because I promised her I wouldn't, and that's something I consider binding.

    Is this because I'm going to avoid situations that may lead to cheating? Absolutely. I'm going to consciously avoid the situations because I chose to be married. It's really that simple. If someone's having such a miserable time with their spouse that they need to turn elsewhere, it's very simple, in my eyes, anyway -- either work to fix the marriage, or end the marriage and sleep with whoever the hell you please. I don't see any room for middle ground here unless it's agreed upon by both parties in some kind of open relationship thing (which I can't really imagine doing, but that's just my situation, not necessarily anyone else's).

    I got caught leading two women on when I was young. They knew each other but didn't know that I was trying to be with both of them at the same time. They found out, it was extremely uncomfortable for everyone, they became friends and I became alone faster than I could say "oh shi-". The thing is, I was 16? at the time. I can forgive a 16-year-old for trying to test the waters, because I remember how stupid I was, and I had to learn my lesson. When I see a 26-year-old or a 36-year-old or whatever do the same thing, I have no pity whatsoever. They generally know exactly what they're doing, and if they squirm when they're caught... well, no shit, Sherlock. What did you think was going to happen?

    If this sounds sanctimonious and preachy, okay, fine, I get that. But when someone says that resolving not to cheat on your spouse is unrealistic, I think that's equally so. If we can't control our impulses, we might as well head back to the caves.

  57. #57
    Creative Title Blazin's Avatar
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    I occasionally cheat on my hand by having sex with my wife.

    But no never cheated, 17 yrs and counting. I will say this, "Don't get married young" the years grow long even in a good loving relationship. If more women would bring a women home every once in awhile doubt any man would cheat.

  58. #58
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsBehavn View Post
    Is it technically cheating, if they cheat first?
    100% yes

  59. #59
    Registered User meStevo's Avatar
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    Might have been cheated on, my first love moved in with her eventual first husband 2 weeks after our 5 yr releationship ended. 3 months later never having been on the rebound I was married. I've never cheated, but got treated like I was in my first marriage, she was cheated on by a boyfriend and despite being married never really trusted me. 1 year to the day of that first relationship ending I moved out and it was over.

  60. #60
    Registered User Bragon's Avatar
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    Never have, never will. I did have 2 opportunities in 10 years of marriage, and it didn't even need a second thought.

  61. #61
    Registered User Haast's Avatar
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    I haven't cheated, though the thought crossed my mind in dating relationships that got bad.

    I was the cheatee in a funny situation in college though. Dated a girl the second half of freshman year. Things were coming along well, and over summer break we decide to keep it going long distance, knowing we probably wouldn't see each other. This sucks, because a good looking female friend literally threw herself at me over the summer and I physically had to push her off of me. We get back to school and see each other a time or two, then she just disappears. Calls not returned, etc. She lived in the same dorm as a friend, and I run into her in the hall while visiting him. Things are extremely awkward, so I'm 100% sure cheated and then disappeared to avoid having to break up like an adult.

    Fast forward a couple of years. The Greek system at my school has a program where reps from each frat have to visit other frat's events to make sure rules are observed (totally pointless, anyone who wanted to break rules could easily cover tracks). A friend of mine from class was in a different frat and I was assigned to his event. I only hang out with this friend in class. He's stoked that I get to visit his event. I get there with the other rep and find my friend. He says hi, then turns around and taps his girl on the shoulder to meet us and....... it's my asshole cheating ex. He introduces us and totally does not pick up on the most awkward "nice to ...meet you" exchange ever. Wrapped things up quickly, got the fuck out and drank heavily. FWIW, apparently they had been dating since the cheating incident. 99.9% sure he had no idea it was a cheating incident. Good times.

  62. #62
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    It's really interesting to read what relationships/marriage mean to different people. I suppose for me, it comes down to how much I really care about the other person. If I'm dating someone I don't really love just because I'm lonely, then I'd probably cheat if a nice opportunity presented itself (not gonna seek anything out), but if I met the love of my life and had a chance to I totally wouldn't. Maybe that's kinda strange, because I've been cheated on by people I loved and it felt like my heart was being ripped out.

    To those that have cheated: do you ever wonder if you're a bad person?

  63. #63
    Confirmed Beta Shitlord. Phazael's Avatar
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    Never would in a committed relationship and never have. I understand why people do it, but it just makes me think they are weak when they do. Just fucking go home and rub one out. If you cannot have enough respect for the person you are with to over rule your dick, then break it off with them before you ruin your integrity.
    668 The Neighbor of the Beast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Erronious
    I don't F5 Rerolled often, but when I do, I'm waiting on nudes

  64. #64
    Confirmed Beta Shitlord. Phazael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemone View Post
    It's really interesting to read what relationships/marriage mean to different people. I suppose for me, it comes down to how much I really care about the other person. If I'm dating someone I don't really love just because I'm lonely, then I'd probably cheat if a nice opportunity presented itself (not gonna seek anything out), but if I met the love of my life and had a chance to I totally wouldn't. Maybe that's kinda strange, because I've been cheated on by people I loved and it felt like my heart was being ripped out.

    To those that have cheated: do you ever wonder if you're a bad person?
    Yeah typical woman logic. "I need to be in a relationship to fill my emotional needs/gaping vagina, but I am going to trade up at the first chance and this is perfectly ok." Men generally cheat just to get their dicks wet. Women generally do it for cold emotional calculous. Why would you even entertain visiting that kind of emotional sting on another person after having felt it yourself?
    668 The Neighbor of the Beast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Erronious
    I don't F5 Rerolled often, but when I do, I'm waiting on nudes

  65. #65
    Registered User Daelos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McCheese View Post
    I've never cheated and the very idea of it disgusts me. I'm an extremely trusting and trustworthy person, and I expect (rather foolishly in my experience) to have that reciprocated. I've never understood relationships which stay together after cheating. For me that is an instant relationship death sentence.
    This.

    My wife ended our 12 year relationship by cheating. All trust is instantly cancelled. It's irrevocable.

  66. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phazael View Post
    Yeah typical woman logic. "I need to be in a relationship to fill my emotional needs/gaping vagina, but I am going to trade up at the first chance and this is perfectly ok." Men generally cheat just to get their dicks wet. Women generally do it for cold emotional calculous. Why would you even entertain visiting that kind of emotional sting on another person after having felt it yourself?
    Well, sometimes I think that I might be a bad person. Kinda why I was asking if anyone else felt the same.

  67. #67
    Registered User TheBeagle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemone View Post

    To those that have cheated: do you ever wonder if you're a bad person?
    That's an overly simplistic question for an issue that's extremely nuanced and complicated. I think just about everyone on Earth has at some point done something bad, but that doesn't mean everyone is a 'bad person'. Obviously most people here think its a cut and dry, black and white situation with an easy answer. But in my experience, whenever I strayed there were other things going on in the relationship, and sometimes it simply wasn't possible to walk out the door at the time. Granted, I could have done a better job at keeping myself out of bad situations, but I was young, dumb and had opportunities.

  68. #68
    HE A GOOD BOY Iannis's Avatar
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    I know I'm a bad person but it has nothing at all to do with cheating. I sincerely regret almost cuckolding my friend -- but that's not breaking any camels backs or keeping me awake at night.

  69. #69
    Registered User Decado's Avatar
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    Never cheated in 20ish years i've been with my wife and don't ever plan to either, I just don't believe in breaking that trust.

    Was a cheatie once though, with a colleague's GF, when i was young and single. No guilt at all though

  70. #70
    Dabamf
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    Willingness to cheat is based on whether or not you've had relationships that you know won't work out long term for whatever reason, and whether you're in an environment in which people are coming on to you and there is little/no risk of getting caught. Those two cases make it REALLY hard to resist when someone is offering themselves to you.

    However, being in a committed relationship for the long haul (ie marriage or leading to marriage) would be enough to make me not cheat. Being in an environment that's extremely unlikely to get you caught (e.g. business trip in a foreign country) would still make it tempting, but in those cases the correct answer is just not to put yourself in circumstances where you'd be tempted.

    Anyone that says "if you cheat you're a bad person" is dumb and doesn't understand how human beings work. Plus they're likely people who don't have any opportunity to cheat.

  71. #71
    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    Made out with a girl one time when I was dating another girl. However I was on the verge of breaking up with the girlfriend, and had met the girl at a bar as she was the cousin of the friend I was there with. She wasn't in to dancing it up etc, and sure enough we got to talking about my current relationship and how it was nearing the end. I honestly wasn't trying to pick her up, and didn't notice any signs from her until we were walking out the door and she pushed me up against a wall and kissed me. I pushed her off and said no, not cool. A group of us went back to a friend's place, she persisted, and eventually I gave in to some pretty heavy petting. Didn't have a rubber so I didn't seal the deal, otherwise I would have.

    Woke up the next day feeling guilty as shit. Went to girlfriend's house, told her about what happened, and ended things. She was pretty upset of course, but we're still good friends to this day. She never held it against me, which was super cool of her. Ended up dating the other girl a few months down the road when our paths crossed again. Turned out she was a psycho, but fun for awhile.

    Personally I look down on people who cheat. I don't think it's cool, regardless of whether or not the other person finds out.

  72. #72
    Registered User Brad2770's Avatar
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    I was cheated on twice by the same woman. I tried to forgive her and give her a second chance after the first guy. She ended up cheating again with a different guy, so I fucked her high school friend's little sister 2 days later (which was posted on FoH; FoH markered across chest and all). I guess, technically, I cheated as well, but I still checked 'No' in the poll. Since then, I have not cheated and when I suspected a woman I was seeing might have a boyfriend or husband, I backed off. I couldn't possibly put another guy through what I had been through (whether he loved his current spouse or not).

    There are three people that I work with at the office that are cheating on their spouses and I do not understand. All three have great families (from what I can tell) and children, yet they are willing to risk it all for forbidden sex. Sex is just sex. It's all the same in the end and it's not worth ruining or dramatically changing multiple lives for an orgasm.
    Last edited by Brad2770; 12-15-2012 at 05:05 PM.

  73. #73
    Registered User Azrayne's Avatar
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    Worst I've done in that regard is make out with one chick while dating another, was my first relationship at 17 :| I broke up with her the next day and the relationship was already pretty dead, so I didn't feel too bad about it. Besides, new chick was crazy good in bed compared to starfish christian guilt trip girl.

    That said, I've always felt that actively cheating on someone in a serious relationship is pretty repugnant. I'd feel horrible if I did it and even worse if it was done to me, I don't think I'd ever be able to trust that individual again. Which of course raises the question of whether the cheater's partner would be happier not knowing.
    " I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"

  74. #74
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    In the past I have had a couple of threesomes, so I have cheated. I have zero guilt or remorse about it, the female I had them with never held them over me.
    RIP Gravy - You will always be Black to me!

  75. #75
    Registered User Azrayne's Avatar
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    Don't think threesomes count bro, I mean technically you're both banging the same person at the same time, so doesn't it more or less equal out?
    " I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"

  76. #76
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemone View Post
    It kinda seems like most people have, at least once. You hear sob stories from friends, so you figure it must happen a lot right? I'm kind of sickeningly interested in the personal lives of strangers, so tell me: have you?

    I haven't really, but I've done something just as bad, if not worse. For a while when I was like 21 I dated a married guy, and the really weird part was that he had a 14 year old and a 16 year old daughter. He was air force and about 40, and we had to sneak around a lot like we were still high school kids. I'm not proud of it but so long as she never finds out I don't regret it at all (I'm 24 now, hope he never tells her).

    your turn!
    Jus realized this was an Anemone thread, ugh I accidentally supported this piece of hit poster. So now that you have been outed as a Mangina, do you want to revise your story?
    RIP Gravy - You will always be Black to me!

  77. #77
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azrayne View Post
    Don't think threesomes count bro, I mean technically you're both banging the same person at the same time, so doesn't it more or less equal out?
    I think by that logic we both cheated, not that our cheating was erased. Also, I do NOT consider girl on girl action cheating.


    EDIT: in red
    Last edited by Oblio; 12-15-2012 at 06:05 PM.
    RIP Gravy - You will always be Black to me!

  78. #78
    Registered User Azrayne's Avatar
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    Yeah but it involves mutual consent, that's like saying people in open relationships are cheating. Unless one person pressured the other into the threesome, I just don't see how it qualifies.
    " I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"

  79. #79
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    I see your point, I do. I was just approaching this from a black white perspective. Also, I am pretty sure I made out with another girl one time I was in a relationship. I was pretty wasted and blacked out but I think I did, at least I told my gf at the time I did.

  80. #80
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    I wouldn't cheat on my wife for all the money in the world, superman's powers, etc.

  81. #81
    Registered User Lemmiwinks's Avatar
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    Ive been the object of cheating twice, but have never cheated on a girl in a relationship.

    The two times that girls cheated on their men with me, I had no idea they were dating. Lied to me about being in a relationship. They both ditched their men to be with me. I dated the first one for a month or so because she was hot, then I realized if she did this to him then its likely to happen to me so I got out.

    Second time it happened again with a different girl. After we started hanging out a lot and doing the dirty deeds, she informed me she had a boyfriend the whole time but let him go a few days prior, and I felt disgusted and came to the same conclusion I did with the first one. I dont trust sneaky snakes like that. Hooking up is one thing, but dating a girl like this is another.

  82. #82
    prescient63
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    I find the results of this poll to be somewhat interesting as it's estimated that there will be some sort of infidelity in 30-60% of married relationships. So to say that 67% have never cheated which is a much more stringent criteria is interesting. I wonder if there is some sort of selection bias among board members or people are just lying. I'm a fan of the latter.

    Anyhow, I've been on all sides of infidelity. From the ages of 16-22 I cheated constantly as there was no threat of being caught and to this day it's never happened. After, 22 I only had a few multi-year monogamous relationships during which time I never felt the urge or had the time to cheat. Beyond that I've stayed away from monogamous relationships as I don't think that they are very realistic over the long run. Everyone can talk about how they have never cheated and will never cheat, but the statistics say that there is a very good chance that either you or your partner will at some point cheat. Beyond that biologically we aren't meant to be monogamous so I don't see the point of fighting something that deeply ingrained in our nature.

    I will say that I tend to let everyone I date know that I have no interest in a monogamous relationship.

  83. #83
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prescient63 View Post
    I find the results of this poll to be somewhat interesting as it's estimated that there will be some sort of infidelity in 30-60% of married relationships. So to say that 67% have never cheated which is a much more stringent criteria is interesting. I wonder if there is some sort of selection bias among board members or people are just lying. I'm a fan of the latter.
    I bet it's all of the above. But I bet that cheating amongst nerds is much lower than subgroups who engage women more frequently.

  84. #84
    Registered User kegkilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tuco View Post
    I bet it's all of the above. But I bet that cheating amongst nerds is much lower than subgroups who engage women more frequently.
    Tuco are you your wifes one and only as well? if yes, are you concerned you are heading down the same path as Aanima?
    CAUTION: THIS BOARD IS MODERATED BY ISIS SYMPATHIZERS
    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    No one is any worse than anyone else, we're all just pushing our own agendas. Even ISIS

  85. #85
    Janitor Tuco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Inquisitor Kegkilla View Post
    Tuco are you your wifes one and only as well? if yes, are you concerned you are heading down the same path as Aanima?
    Yes. Didn't Aamima have a wife who had tons of dudes? But no I'm not afraid of that..

  86. #86
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    I haven't, but three of my ex-girlfriends did.

    First one I've seen on live TV.
    Second one had this guilty face/speech after a night out with her female friends.
    Third one tried to hide it by showering every time she got home from "work".

    So, I'm not to keen on doing it. When you're on this side of the fence and your spouse/partner/girlfriend cheats on you, you kind of don't want to do that to another guy out there. Nor would I be willing to help a woman cheat on her boyfriend/spouse if I knew s/he's in a relationship.
    And someone will go thinking "hey, if 3 women cheated on you, you probably deserved it", well, communication is the key. If you ask someone if there's something wrong and get the answer that nothing is wrong and nothing is bothering them, then I will rightfully assume NOTHING is wrong.

  87. #87
    prescient63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slyminxy View Post
    I haven't, but three of my ex-girlfriends did.

    First one I've seen on live TV.
    Second one had this guilty face/speech after a night out with her female friends.
    Third one tried to hide it by showering every time she got home from "work".

    So, I'm not to keen on doing it. When you're on this side of the fence and your spouse/partner/girlfriend cheats on you, you kind of don't want to do that to another guy out there. Nor would I be willing to help a woman cheat on her boyfriend/spouse if I knew s/he's in a relationship.
    And someone will go thinking "hey, if 3 women cheated on you, you probably deserved it", well, communication is the key. If you ask someone if there's something wrong and get the answer that nothing is wrong and nothing is bothering them, then I will rightfully assume NOTHING is wrong.
    I think I see the issue here.

  88. #88
    Registered User kegkilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slyminxy View Post
    I haven't, but three of my ex-girlfriends did.

    First one I've seen on live TV.
    wat
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    No one is any worse than anyone else, we're all just pushing our own agendas. Even ISIS

  89. #89
    0011101000101001 Silence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grand Inquisitor Kegkilla View Post
    wat
    Springer.

  90. #90
    Registered User Hatorade's Avatar
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    10 years together and no cheating, I had to turn it down twice which was really freaking hard if I am honest but glad I did.

    Never put your self in a position to cheat and you will be fine, better to be hot and bothered then satisfied and worried.

  91. #91
    Registered User Azrayne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hatorade View Post
    10 years together and no cheating, I had to turn it down twice which was really freaking hard if I am honest but glad I did.

    Never put your self in a position to cheat and you will be fine, better to be hot and bothered then satisfied and worried.
    Or get hot and bothered and then go home and fuck the shit out of your partner.

    Some wisdom I once received from a fat gay dude: 'It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you take it home to the right person.'
    " I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"

  92. #92
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azrayne View Post
    Or get hot and bothered and then go home and fuck the shit out of your partner.

    Some wisdom I once received from a fat gay dude: 'It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you take it home to the right person.'
    Lol, my wife and I say the say thing but slightly different.

    You can work up your appetite wherever you want as long as you eat at home.


  93. #93
    infraction teflon Merkins4Brazil's Avatar
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    If you are single and tagged a married woman or two, is that considered cheating? or is being a home-wrecker different?

  94. #94
    A Gentleman and a Scholar Felonius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merkins4Brazil View Post
    If you are single and tagged a married woman or two, is that considered cheating? or is being a home-wrecker different?
    Still a very shitty thing to do if you do it knowingly. Most will say "but if I don't do it, someone else will!" Well you're probably right, there is no end to the depravity of the human soul. But you have no control over anyone but yourself and knowing you helped wreck a marriage and the family involved is a shitty situation to be in.
    Last edited by Felonius; 12-15-2012 at 11:36 PM.

  95. #95
    Registered User buffylol's Avatar
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    I have fucked married women/ones in relationships... does that count?

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    Cat lady. Archangel's Avatar
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    My first finacee left me for my best friend on the morning of what was supposed to be our wedding, and later when I *was* married, after 7 years of marriage, my now-ex-husband fooled around with a 20 year old. I know how bad cheating hurts, and I have never done it, nor will I *ever* do it!

  97. #97
    Registered User Lithose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oblio View Post
    I think by that logic we both cheated, not that our cheating was erased. Also, I do NOT consider girl on girl action cheating.


    EDIT: in red
    See, I don't think this is cheating though. Cheating involves breaking the rules--IE the rules of a monogamous relationship. If you both decide to change the rules of your relationship, then no one has cheated, right? It's like adding the 2 point conversion to the NFL. It's not cheating if the team takes advantage of a different way to score, if the rules were changed to allow it.

  98. #98
    Been here since Day 1 Oblio's Avatar
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    Love the Football analogy!

    I am a little weird about sex in general, probably because I was molested as a kid. I can easily separate sex from love. Don't get me wrong I am capable of making "love" to my wife, but I view our love/relationship being bigger and greater than just sex. Not saying I want her to run out and fuck other dudes, but I could forgive a one night stand way easier than a romantic date.

  99. #99
    Dabamf
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    Quote Originally Posted by prescient63 View Post
    Beyond that biologically we aren't meant to be monogamous so I don't see the point of fighting something that deeply ingrained in our nature.
    That's not true.

    Humans are capable of both monogamy and having many sexual partners. There are massive individual differences in sexual behaviors. We are influenced hugely by our early childhood years (0-5) on which type of sexual "strategy" we adopt. There is a relatively new theory backed by considerable evidence that many of our behaviors (sexual, stress response) are formed in the early years based on cues from our environment that have historically been predictors of our likely environment as adults. An unstable or dangerous environment would favor quick reproduction, whereas stable and safe environments would favor those who invested in the future. A closely related concept is Life History Theory that explains how organisms have adapted various reproductive strategies.

    Interesting fact - girls whose fathers are not present up until age 5 not only have sex earlier in life, but they actually hit puberty earlier as well.

    Unsolicited but evo psych is one of the most interesting fields to me. If you are curious and have access to a uni's library system, look for these:
    Boyce & Ellis (2005) "Biological Sensitivity to Context" - One of the most fascinating journal articles I've ever read.
    Guidice, Ellis, Shirtcliff (2011) "Adaptive Calibration Model" - THE most fascinating article I've ever read.

  100. #100
    Registered User Phaint's Avatar
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    I've never cheated in any of my relationships but I agree with lord commander chaos in that a big part of that was consciously avoiding situations that may have lead to cheating. You can say you will never cheat on your girlfriend/wife, but your feelings towards them might change a couple years down the line due to unforeseen circumstances or you simply might become a victim of temptation so you can't deal with absolutes. Remember don't fight temptation, run from it!

    I hold no qualms about having sex with women who are in relationships though. It's their choice and their relationship, not mine. Now I don't go out actively seducing women in relationships but if shit goes down between us and then later I find out she is in a relationship, well tough titties to the guy cause I'm going to continue having sex with her because she's obviously a cheating whore and if not with me, then she'll do it with someone else.

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