tl;dr, OP got molested by this guy.
(I've posted the exact thing on another forum but I want to get my thoughts out there. Here you go.)
So this story was printed out and sitting on my desk when I got into work this morning:
Bucks bus driver charged with sex assaults on two boys - Philly.com
I've known Fred for a LONG time. Over 20 years, I would think. He was my Troop Leader when I was a Boy Scout. In all my years of knowing him, he never had a creepy vibe. Our scout troop was among the best I can think of, mainly because the kids were very mischievous, and he always had our backs if we got in trouble.
We even got the troop permanently kicked out of a summer camp when two of the older kids decided they were going to steal the camp's tractor and drive it down the highway. ...Yeah, we were that type of troop.
Anyway, I'm completely floored and disgusted to hear about this news. I know that I was never around any molestation in my scouting days, but I've got to wonder if maybe one of the kids in my troop was a victim. Fred was always a very personal guy. And I'm really not sure how to take this news.
I mean, is Fred really the monster that I'm now imagining? What the fuck?
Bus Driver Accused of Indecently Assaulting 2 Boys | NBC 10 Philadelphia
The link above has a video to Fred's house. Every year, Fred had Christmas parties there, and we would always go to them. Everything in the house was odd, but that's just his style. He loved porcelain Christmas ornaments... would have them ALL OVER the house.
When I was a 1st Class scout (2 steps below Eagle), my dad ended up becoming the Troop Leader. Fred had something going on that he wanted to keep his name away from the Boy Scouts. We never questioned it, and Fred was always there. But my dad was now the figure head. I ended up quitting the troop 2 years later. I was too interested in computers and The Realm, that I hated going away once a month on a camping trip and leave my precious computer.
I was between 17 & 18 and a Life scout (1 below Eagle) when I quit. This was back in '98.
What the fuck?
I had a scout leader that would let our troop get away with moider.
At one big camp with all the other troops in the region, instead of going to the bonfire with the other troops we snuck out and raided other people's tents for snacks. When we came back to the bonfire our leader gave us a half smile and a nod that said "boys will be boys".
Grown up thread.
Mods need to moderate
This explains a lot about Xarp.
I'm not quite sure why this bothers you so much. I could understand if you were molested by him and it was dredging up old memories, but if it's just a guy you knew/know who turned out to be bad...why get so worked up over it?
I think the majority of people are shitty human beings behind closed doors. Not child-molesting shitty, obviously, but everyone puts on a "good facade" and you never really know what someone is like in private unless it is your significant other (and even then there can be surprises).
If I were you I'd be thankful that I never got molested rather than being shocked/upset by it.
Some people do really shitty things and hide it really well. The fact that he was probably a role model in your life allowed you to hold him to a higher standard than most others and probably allowed you to be blind to any real signs he had.
My mother was molested pretty badly when she was a kid, so I know it can really fuck people up. Just be glad it didn't happen to you.
I didn't "idolize" him, but I've always defended him in the past. When the priest touching boys scaldal(s) first started, people would comment about how a Scout Leader is really no different. I mean, they don't even have kids of their own, why the fuck are they involved with them?
I ALWAYS defended the concept of it because I just knew that Fred was different than these scumbags. He always had our backs, and not in a rapey kind-of way. I saw him over 4th of July at the town Faire. We chatted about how the troop is doing these days and I introduced him to my daughter. He's already met my wife. He was always a good guy, and I respected what he did for the kids. I know that my childhood was a lot better than it would have been if not for boy scouts. I realize that he wasn't really involved with the good outside of just being the troop leader and setting up camping trips allowed us to do these mini-vacations. I made a lot of friends when I would have otherwise gone without. What with being a computer nerd and all.
At the end of it all, I'm hurt because I never saw that he was a monster. I blindly defended him when people would make uninformed comments. But ultimately, they were right. He's a disgusting creep.
I realize that my daughter was never going to be at risk because we never leave her alone with anyone (well, and he went for boys), but still. It's really fucked up that I didn't see it.
Honestly, don't let this effect your entire life. Once your daughter is old enough to join the Girl Scouts (or other similar activity), etc don't become paranoid to the point you can't trust her scout leader etc.
Nah, you did the right thing.
The fucked up thing is going around assuming that every Priest / Youth Leader is only in it for the grabass. If you never saw it -- why would you just roll over and agree when people make baseless claims? That, in all sincerity, is the truly fucked up worldview. It goes beyond a healthy cynicism into a deeply unhealthy one.
You also need to remember that it's been 15 years. People do change. While it's possible that the seed was always in him it is also possible that it only blossomed into action recently.
It is also possible (but unlikely) he's being railroaded by some combination of fucked up circumstances. Highly unlikely, but this is one of those crimes that you REALLY need to wait for the jury. Pedophile witch hunts do happen. Again, I am saying it is unlikely that it happened here. I am only saying that they do happen. Actual abuse happens as well, and more often.
trust no one.
i was in the scouts... i think it'd make a HUGE impact if he was your entire troop leader... was he also the representative for the cub scouts/weblos as well? did you basically grow up as a cub scout with him being your leader for nearly 8 years?
i had separate cub scout
leaders for all 3.
i also got out as a life scout as well, fck teenage angst.
He didn't become my scout master until I first joined boy scouts. I was in cub scouts prior to that, and it was a different "group". When you went from cub scouts to boy scouts, you had different troop numbers to choose, and I went with the one that seemed more fun at the time. Realistically, it probably was a better experience than the other troop, even though we didn't have the major funding the other troop had. It was still a great experience. Anyway, I ended up seeing him weekly for around 5 years total. But I continued to see him randomly after that. He lives in the neighborhood, so any time I was out and would see him, we'd chat and catch up on old times.
I would never wish to take back any of the old boy scout memories.. I just don't like that the troop leader ended up being a sicko. That's my problem. It just corrupts my otherwise harmless memories of childhood. After today I'll probably put it into the back of my mind, but as of right now, it's out front. And that's what sucks.
do you have a boy? i know you said you had a girl, but for me, that would be the thing that sticks in my mind, can i trust these scout leaders to not be fucking pedo's with my boy. cuz my scouting experience was great, and i'd want my son to have the same experience, i would of course try as hard to be scout leaders on the weekends to "monitor" things but that would always be in the back of my mind.
I do not have a son. Only a daughter. Who knows what the future will bring. We're intentionally not being careful just so we "might" have something later on.
I didn't mean to belittle Xarpolis' feelings over the situation. I was genuinely curious why it bothered him so much. It makes a lot more sense now that he said that he'd been defending the guy for so long. I think if I had been defending someone for years only to be proven completely wrong in one of the most horrible ways it might upset me, too.
Mugshots can make anyone look like a psycho. I bet if he were smiling he'd look like the friendly neighborhood Santa Claus.Not to threadshit, but just seeing that guys mug, the first thing that comes to mind is Sex Offender's list.
Last edited by McCheese; 12-03-2013 at 08:30 PM.
Thread: Vicodin, Cigarettes, and My Fake Tits - from the diary of the Megan Fox of Ohio
That's awful and you should feel bad.
02-19-2013 02:33 PM
Thread: The ethics of stealing video games
Your justification in life is merely self serving. Imagine if society was 100% people like you, fuck living in that place.
05-15-2015 05:31 AM
the idiot who plays blessed shield with no jenkebabobob or foote
How clear is it that the dude is guilty? Do you know if he is denying it?
The 2nd link said that he admitted to it in their news report.
That's some heavy shit. I can remember really looking up to my troop leader while I was in boy scouts. I mean, the guy was pretty low on the socioeconomic ladder by most standards, but the fact that he was so dedicated to service and the boy scouts really elevated him in my book. I would feel pretty betrayed if I heard something like this about him. It would be hard not.to feel cynical about my entire stint with scouting. It would also be hard to ignore the fact that the guy really did some good too.
your willingness to defend your troop leader is evidence he was a positive presence in your life at least. It doesn't excuse his horrendous behavior by any means, but I don't think it should completely negate the benefit he provided others either.
I dunno man, it's pretty fucked, but I don't think you should beat yourself up for sticking up for someone that didnt give you a reason not to. The older I get the harder it is to stave off cynicism. Best of luck.
Just made the mistake of browsing this thread on my iPad while my nephew is playing on the floor in front of me with his toys. Reading this then looking down at him and I am so fucking disturbed what people are capable of. So much innocence and trust - betraying that is way evil.
I came here for a good laugh, and I was not disappointed.
Bucks county is full of pedofiles.
Last edited by DeadAgain!?; 12-09-2013 at 04:31 AM.
It was explained as "some sort of legal dispute that he didn't want the scouts involved with."
We probably should have known but it's still fucked up.
We always played swap the popsicle around the camp fire
Not allowed on this forum.
Sorry to here about this.
I was pretty oblivious to all this stuff when I was a kid in the scouts. Our Scout leader was some kids parent for the longest time and then one year they retired
and was replaced by some dude who none of use knew.
He invited all of us to his place for a pool party. I really wanted to go, but my parents were like, hey
we know you wanted to get into soccer... so you have to choose one or the other. I chose soccer.
They confirmed that they didn't want me going to that pool party years later. My parents are sneaky as fuck.
I know they meant well, and I'm appreciative that they did it, even if there may or may not have been something
odd going on.
It's sad to hear parents think of Scouts that way. I was in Boy Scouts and it was a wonderful experience. It really does prepare you for life. I am one of the most prepared people on any given trip or outing. Plus, it can toughen you up. Camping in Ohio in February ain't no pussy shit.
Perhaps you guys aren't intending it this way, but it sounds like you're blaming the public and parents for having the wrong opinion of Boy Scouts instead of the Boy Scout organization for having reprehensible morals. Regardless of what Boy Scouts may teach, would you want to involve your kid in an organization that bans gays for no practical reason?
And I disagree on the usefulness of Boy Scouts. I was in the scouts until maybe 10 or 11? I hate camping, I don't use any of the shit I learned there.
Its probably because I am hugely nostalgic about my childhood that I find it sad. The Scouts had a hugely positive affect on my life.
gay members being allowed now? I guess that doesn't include leaders still.
You really get out of it what you put into it. If you quit at 10 or 11, you probably weren't around to enjoy the awesome shit like 13 mile backpacking trips into mountains, canoeing, and white water rafting. The Klondike derbies were great too. As someone who got a lot out of Scouts, I have to vehemently disagree with someone who quit so early.
Oh, I'm not disagreeing that scouts can be useful. I just don't see how they can "prepare you for life" if you don't like camping/treking/outdoors/whatever.
Didn't know about the changed inclusion of gay members, that's good news. Still kinda silly.
Stick to a shitty k-pop/yellow fever thread and let GU stay on topic, shitlord.
Obviously, the practice of excluding non-Christians, females, and homosexuals from scouting made the organization a giant hypocritical asshole, but it isn't like there are national or even regional representatives at every meeting of every troop. The troop I was involved with as a kid wasn't overtly anti- anyone as far as I can recall. It would be nice to hear that the national leadership adopted a less restrictive policy on membership though.
The troop I was in was sponsored by the Air Force as I lived on base. We didn't exclude anyone. It really depends on who sponsors your local troop imo.
Yeah, I can't imagine that the gay kids things comes up much. Even people who are gay are rarely out about it before they're out of high school. I realize that "don't ask don't tell" isn't an acceptable situation to a lot of people, but when it comes to kids there's really no reason that sex needs to come up one way or another.
Just like with sports, you might learn a few skills that will be useful in life but it's really about working together as a team, serving the community, and getting the kids to do something that doesn't involve jacking off their Xbox controller. I was never a boy scout but I was in 4-H throughout my childhood and even though half of it was my Mom forcing me to do it against my will, I have nothing but positive memories about the stuff I did and learned from it.
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