Araysar will be your tour-guide. Just get him high in return.
I hope you don't mind me speaking for you, Araysar.
Gonna be in Chicago November 7-11 with 6-10 buds for a stag. Looking for recommendations on best places to stay, eat, drink and waste money on naked women. We're going to a Bears and Hawks game on the Sunday, gonna be a long day. I doubt we'll do much "culture", but feel free to suggest any can't miss things we should see while hungover in the mornings and early afternoons.
Araysar will be your tour-guide. Just get him high in return.
I hope you don't mind me speaking for you, Araysar.
Wrigleyville. Always a fun spot to hang out. Tons of spots to drink and eat. You've got to get some Chicago pizza. My favorite is Giordano's, but there are many others almost as good. Except Lou Malnati's. Place is very overrated.
Some friends and I were in Chicago and we got really stoned and went to the planetarium - which is by Soldier Field along with the Field Museum and the Shedd Aquarium. I know you're not looking for culture, but the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium are badass.
Avoid the south side.
Anyone have hook-ups for tickets to those Hawks/Bears games? Or a suggestion other than getting fucked on Stubhub?
As far as tickets are concerned, there are a lot of other resellers like Gold Coast Tickets, Front Row Tickets or something, You Sit On Glass Tickets, I have no clue... there are so many of them. But be prepared to pay through the ass for Bears tickets. I think we have the highest average ticket price in the NFL. And the Blackhawks are like 90% fair weather fans now who can't name a player other than Kane or Toews. Only good thing is lots of women dress up like they are going to the club when they go to the games so for a bunch of guys you might like this.
Wrigleyville is cool if you are into the frat dude scene. It will be pretty boring (aka not a lot of chicks) in November because baseball season is over.
There is literally nothing around Soldier Field except the Field Museum and Planetarium and McCormick Place so don't plan on doing anything near there after the game. If you guys are exceptionally social, get there early, like 8 A.M. for a noon start (which that game is) and bring a rolling cooler with beers. Walk around the Waldron parking deck and try to make friends with people to score food or trade beer for food. It might be too cold to do this but tailgating is the shit there.
There is also not much around the United Center. The immediate area is beginning to become more gentrified but west of there is literally the west side aka almost as bad as the south side of Chicago. Your best bet is to head back into the downtown area but east down Madison Street towards downtown has some bars and restaurants.
River North is the very clubby and trendy area which is probably where you'll stay since it's the heart of the action. You really can't go wrong with any hotels and shouldn't overpay for something that isn't just a Holiday Inn or Doubletree or whatever unless you get a really good deal via Priceline or whatever.
The best pizza is Lou Malnati's. Get the butter crust on whatever pizza you order. Don't let anyone send you to Giordano's or Gino's East or anywhere else (but Pizano's is decent in a pinch). For steakhouses my favorite is David Burke's Primehouse in the James Hotel. If you are staying on or near Michigan Ave, consider The Purple Pig. Great food.
Randolph Street in the West Loop is where all the hottest and newest restaurants are. For a group of guys I would definitely check out The Publican. They have a great brunch too if you're into that, but dinner is where it's at.
Anything else specific I can try to answer just let me know.
Wrigleyville is a solid suggestion.
Chicago in general is fucking awesome as hell. That is all. Enjoy bros, enjoy.
Everyone is going to tell you the best pizza place to go to and only that one and why all the rest suck.
They're all fucking dumb, know why? Because you should eat pizza from ALL of those places, that's why. DO IT.
Last edited by eXarc the Internet Panther; 10-09-2013 at 07:19 AM.
Pizza my ass you are supposed to hit up greek town and enjoy some tasty gyros.
Portillos. Hot dog, italian beef, and fries.
Good call on the rolling cooler. We've been to a Cards and Chargers game in the past two Brovembers and yeah, generally tailgating is the funnest part. We show up in Oilers jerseys and make a couple dozen friends while drinking their beer and eating their food. Good times.Originally Posted by Eyashusa
I believe we rented a condo on the SW corner of Grant Park, so that should be a pretty prime location no?River North is the very clubby and trendy area which is probably where you'll stay since it's the heart of the action. You really can't go wrong with any hotels and shouldn't overpay for something that isn't just a Holiday Inn or Doubletree or whatever unless you get a really good deal via Priceline or whatever.
Thanks for all the suggestions, I will pass them along to the group. I'm pumped for this trip, I've heard great things about Chicago and the last couple Brovembers have been great times.
Most importantly though, no one has suggested the best strip clubs. Help a brother out.
Yeah SW corner of Grant Park is not a bad spot.
I actually don't know any strip clubs in Chicago except the Admiral Theater and it's nowhere near downtown. All the ones I've ever gone to have been in the suburbs.
Chicago is great. Beer can be found, places don't close til 4AM, and it's cheap compared to other big cities like NYC and LA
Definitely second Portillo's for hot dogs and Giordano's for pizza. Can't go wrong with those suggestions
Going to a strip club in Chicago is just not a good idea. I'm sure there are some amazing clubs their, but there's so much trim in Chicago even your lamest bro can pull down a 6 or 7. Chicago's a really popular spot for post grad's to live and work so everyone still parties like it's college. I lived there for about 2 years and had to leave my dick was turning in a petri dish from all the random strange.
Recommendations: stay up north in Wrigleyville, Lincoln Park, or Bucktown. Just check out Yelp for places to go you will not be disappointed. There are some really good hole in the wall sushi spots. Giordano's.
Polekatz is about half an hour away from Midway so... yeah they are not that close.
If your southwest of Grant Park the two closes strip joints are
VIP'S: Chicago's Finest Adult Entertainment, VIPS Near north side, expensive as shit
Pink Monkey Chicago | 750 South Clinton Avenue, Chicago IL | Upscale Adult Entertainment Club Near south side, must be a new place but sure its pricey as well.
Strip joins in Chicago are a bitch. The ladies are hot but they wear pasty things on their nipples, your going to be paying $10.00 + just for a shitty domestic beer, and lap dances will cost you a months rent.
If your into music go to Chicago Reader | Music & Nightlife - Shows, Concerts, Nightlife, Music Reviews, Previews, and Criticism to see whats playing. If your into blues go to B.L.U.E.S on Halsted or you are close to Buddy Guy's place. Blues Chicago isnt bad either.
You can find great beer everywhere now but the Map Room and Hopleaf are by far the leading beer bars though both are on the North Side. You can also hit the Revolution restaurant brewery, Half Acre Tap room, or Goose Island Brew restaurant. Again all on the north west / north side.
Far as tickets stubhub or gold coast tickets. Buy them asap is my advice.
Food, every neighborhood has great food options so you are fine no matter where you go.
Chicago has been called a city of neighborhoods, which may be one of its less-catchy monikers, but it also happens to be true. And those neighborhoods have many fine qualities and eclectic charms... but they also have some lesser points. And some lesser, lesser points. Read on to find out what those are, and if you don't see your least favorite 'hood, feel free to expound on it in the comments.
Wrigleyville: The nation’s greatest living monument to failure and public intoxication. Game days are obviously a waking nightmare, but it really manages to encapsulate a fraternity party from hell year-round. You can gauge the seasons by how vigorously mini-skirted 21yr-olds are shivering while waiting to get into Moe’s Cantina. Even the most liberally applied AXE body spray can’t do much to overpower the scent of urine, stale vomit, and shame.
Lincoln Park: Split between college students and 28yr-olds who haven’t moved on from being college students. If you ever see someone taking their co-ed recreational kickball game WAY too seriously, there is a 106% chance he lives somewhere on Belden between Clark and Lincoln. Take an LP resident to a bar without flatscreen TVs or potato skins and they quickly become disoriented and irritable.
Wicker Park: People still somehow act like living in Wicker Park makes them kind of edgy when it’s basically been a more Westerly version of Lincoln Park for like 10 years now. Milwaukee Ave is teeming with disaffected suburbanite teens whose parents dropped them off to shop for vintage clothing that will impress people in art class. Also, walking or driving across six corners takes six pieces of your soul. Every. Single. Time.
Bucktown: Do you enjoy the faux-hipness of Wicker Park but wish it had more disapproving glances from stroller moms who catch you staring at their yoga pants even though they kind of appreciate the attention because their attorney husband is cheating with his secretary and she would like to leave him but have you SEEN their condo?! Welcome to Bucktown!
Logan Square: Already well on the path to being the next Wicker Park. Actually it’s basically there. The Logan Square Farmer’s Market is like Disney World for “cool” parents toting toddlers clad in baby Toms and glancing disapprovingly at anyone who neglected to bring a canvas bag. Good luck walking into New Wave and not seeing three people you would punch immediately if not for fear of becoming entangled in their elaborate facial hair.
Pilsen: Are you a condescending artist whose parents are supplementing your income JUST enough that you can afford to pay rent and subsist on tacos (admittedly delicious, inexpensive tacos) while pretending you’re actually scraping by only with grit and freelance graphic design work? Pilsen is calling.
Old Town: Old Town? More like Old PEOPLE! Right? RIGHT?! But seriously, Old Town isn’t just for hitting Wells St and watching some retirees mistreat a server who’s just trying to earn enough to keep taking Second City classes. There are plenty of 20-somethings who are total d*cks, too.
Streeterville: People who want to live in Chicago but are afraid of just about everything about it live in Streeterville. Parking on the street? Yikes! Poor people? Terrifying! But at least they’re right near Navy Pier, which… okay clearly we’re ripping on a lot of things in this article, but in all seriousness Navy Pier is the worst place in the city. Possibly the state. In the running for galaxy.
River North: Remember how River North used to be way seedier with lots more “adult book stores” and whatnot? Us neither. Where were we? Oh yeah, Hubbard St is like Clark St with fewer pairs of cargo shorts and more guys named Blaine.
Gold Coast: A quick 10min stroll around the Gold Coast is definitive proof that money cannot buy taste.
lincoln square chi-Does your Chicago neighborhood suck? An investigation.
Lincoln Square: People from Lincoln Square LOVE telling you they live in Lincoln Square. They actually pause after they say “Lincoln Square” and wait for the obligatory part where you tell them how ADORABLE it is. It’s a quaint, sleepy suburb that somehow infiltrated the city. It’s about as much fun as Naperville.
West Loop: You’re happy to tell people about all the great restaurants in your neighborhood. What you don’t tell them is you spend most nights ordering takeout from Dragonfly and watching a little Storage Wars on DVR before waiting for your French bulldog to poop on the sidewalk while you think about quitting your consulting job. Also, it's mystifying more people don't get hit by cars on Randolph St.
South Loop: FACT: 87% of South Loop residents bought a condo before the real estate market crashed, assured the area was about to develop like crazy, only to regret it. They’re trying to save money for a new place but they keep spending it on cabs to take them away from the South Loop.
Loop: Hahaha… wait, does anyone actually live in the Loop? This is a serious question.
LOL. I love this so much I am going to print it. I live in Rogers Park, would love to hear you're description of our neighborhood! What hood do you live in?
I didnt write it, though I've thought and said these opinions to my friends for years.
I have lived all over Chicago: Albany Park, Portage Park, Jefferson Park, Lincoln Park, Hermosa, by O'hare, Bridgeport, Bronzeville, Rogers Park. Shit I think I lived in every neighborhood that has the word "Park" in it.
For the last few years I've been camped out in the West Town / Ukrainian Village area.
Its called just The Beetle now.
Food is still great, I played some pool there a few days ago.
Too bad Tuman's Tavern "Alcohol Abuse Center" , the original, isnt around anymore. Pours a forty on ground
Lived in East Village for 12 years before getting married and moving to "The Villa" in between Avondale and Old Irving. Been to the beetle many times as well. I remember one weekend I left my car across the street from the beetle due to being too drunk to drive home to find it Sunday morning bashed in from a hit and run that night.
The Alcohol Abuse Center sign is still inside Tuman's, hanging on the wall.
I was at Tuman's the night Hawks won the 2010 Stanley Cup. The Villa is a good neighborhood.
My old hood. They try their hardest to be Chicago but alas, they are not.
If I was in Chicago, I'd visit the site of the (now demolished) Robert Taylor homes.
I've got a good feeling about this.
Not much there. At least Cabrini Green is a Target now.
\Naperville is a shithole. You dont know shit about Chicago.
My first experience in Chicago was I was back in 1999, I was stuck in traffic and I was watching a guy trying to get into what I thought was his house. Finally someone came out the front door with a baseball bat and chased him away.
While I know that is not an accurate representation of the city itself ( I loved my time there) I'll never forget that and how hard we were all laughing.
Fun little town Chicago is. Good times were had by all. Everyone agreed it was the best Brovember yet (previous locations were San Diego and Phoenix). As it turns out I had our condo misplaced, we were staying at The Streeter, so right in Streeterville. Pretty sweet place actually, and also very reasonable for 6 guys. Sure we had to double bunk, but they were kings. Close walking/stumbling difference to just about everything. And boy did we do a lot of walking. I think we took a cab maybe once or twice, I don't quite recall. Bus once to get to the United Centre.
First night on Thursday we hit Timothy O'Toole's since it was nice and close. Food was good for pub food, and beer was awesome. I love me some massive beer selections. After that we hit up the Pink Monkey, who were kind enough to pick us up in their limo (which we then saw about half a dozen other times throughout the weekend. "Shit guys, I think it's following us!"). The talent there was indeed extremely good, however the house rules were bullshit in terms of what you could do in the private rooms. Or so I was told, I didn't get a lap dance because they were fucking ridiculously expensive, like $200 for 10-15 minutes or something. Fuck that. I did buy one for another dude because he needed one, even a shitty one. On the other hand, you can bring your own booze and the chasers weren't all that outrageous, and we drank two bottles of grey goose, a bottle of Jager, and also had a couple bottles of cheap champagne for the ho's (we're good like that) so we saved a ton of money on booze I guess. But the next day everyone had a pretty poor taste in their mouth about how expensive the lappers were and it was decided that we wouldn't go back.
Friday we wandered around, did some shopping (seriously, clothes are like half the price in the US, it's ridiculous), and hit up Giordano's for lunch. I know some people said don't go there, but the rest of the group had their hearts set on it. I thought it was pretty good, I got a meat lovers type one and enjoyed it well enough, although I'd eaten breakfast not long before so I didn't have as much room in the tummy as I'd have liked. A few of the other guys at that point headed back to the condo while three of us decided that if we didn't just get back on the alcoholism horse, we'd probably be down for the night pretty soon. So first we went to the House of Blues, which was closed for a private function, but the dude in there told us to go check out a bar called Snicker's that had hot bartenders. So off we went. He wasn't lying. It was just a small hole in the wall bar, and there was only two bartenders on at a time, but both sets were fucking gorgeous polish princesses (shift changed while we were there). We then proceeded to down about 10 vodka Redbulls each in an effort to chase our hangovers away. That seemed to work for the other two dudes, as they started to get pretty drunk. For me, I just felt shittier and shittier, and the booze was broken.
After that we went to Zed451 to meet up with the rest of the crew. That was pretty damn good. I don't think it was heads and shoulders of the Brazilian steakhouses we've been to in San Diego or Phoenix, but it was the best so far. Salad bar was smaller than the others, but had some pretty unique things, and the meat course was phenomenal. Unfortunately my Giordano's was still sitting fairly heavy, so I probably didn't get my money's worth, but as I type this I'm salivating. After dinner the group headed back to Snicker's to oogle the bartenders. I ducked out to head back to the condo and call it a night like a pussy. The rest of the group apparently had a great night, as they stayed at Snicker's for awhile, then headed to Buddy Guy's for some blues music, and then a bar across the street. One dude rolled back in to the condo at 9am the next day with a box of gourmet doughnuts, saying that he came to while walking down Michigan Avenue, and he was pretty sure he was drinking Miller Lite with homeless people at some point. Thankfully he didn't get stabbed.
Saturday was a pretty mellow day, everyone was pretty tuckered out from the long night, except for me. A few of us did some shopping and sightseeing. That night we went to Gene and Georgetti based on someone's friend's recommendation. The steak was pretty damn good. I was a little pissed we had to wait 45 minutes when we had a reservation, but I guess that's how the place rolls. We went back to our condo to await the arrival of the night's entertainment: SweetSeductionChicago.com | 2 Girl Show
Good times were had. We ended up with 11 guys as a few other randoms that were in town joined us, so we had actually ordered 4 strippers. Something got screwed up and only a third came, and apparently the first two hated her for whatever reason and booked it after their show, leaving the third girl behind. Dirtiest stripper ever. DPing and ATMing herself with dildos, all that good stuff. At one point she's like "let's play anal ring toss!" and me and the guy getting married sat on the couch while she took various positions with a glow stick popping out of her ass and we tried throwing rings on it. How awesome is that you might ask? Pretty awesome, I will tell you.
Sunday we hit up the Bears game, but were too hungover to make it in time to tailgate at all. All six of us were wearing Oilers jerseys and had some good shit talking going on with the locals, but all in good natured fun. After that we rolled out towards the United Centre, looking for a place to grab a beer and dinner before the game. Naturally every place nearby was pretty much packed, so we ended up at the Billy Goat Tavern. As we were walking in the door a guy coming out said "Oh nice, I'm on your side guys, but you're going to get your asses kicked in there!" When we walked through the door pretty much the entire place went silent, turned to look at us, and booed. It was hilarious. After the game we just headed back to the condo and ordered in Chinese because we were too hungover to attempt anything else. Monday we just did a bit more shopping before flying out.
All in all, fun times. Definitely will go back for an actual trip to see the sights etc, as we really didn't do any of that. The planetarium looked awesome, so did a couple of the museums.
Did the Sweat Seduction strippers have a huge steroided out body guard dude with no neck and arms as big as my torso ?
Nah, just a little black dude. Or maybe he was hispanic, he was fairly pale. Good enough dude. I think he mentioned he used to be an amateur boxer or some shit, but who knows.
Yeah, everything was kind of game time decisions, not much was planned out. Plus I've never really been comfortable introducing a stranger to my friends from the internet. I dunno, it weirds me out. No offense bro!Originally Posted by Araysar
I understand Eomer. Next time come alone and we can have a rerolled circle jerk.
Its acceptable these days to meet people from the internet. This isn't 1995
Pretty much. Also myself.
Giordano's and a Brazilian steak house in one day. That is some heady stuff. My compliments to your stomach.
Five days, five pounds.
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