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Thread: Depression.

  1. #561
    Puts the suffer in insufferable. Izo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eidal View Post
    Some of you guys must be being purposely obtuse. Obviously, if you have severe clinical depression you should be seeking professional help as opposed to PM'ing Eidal about health/fitness. If you're just down about yourself and can't really figure out why, then that is more what I'm talking about. I've seen a good workout/nutrition plan do wonders for many people's self-esteem and health (both physical and mental).

    I was offering to correspond in private channels with someone who might be interested in getting started but doesn't really know where to begin. I've been through it before and I've also coached others through the novice stages -- plus, having a long-distance workout buddy is more fun than having no one at all.

    Does that make more sense?
    The trigger was this:
    Quote Originally Posted by Eidal View Post
    ...Scientists don't lie, your body responds favorably with chemicals from a good workout plan.
    Thanks for clarifying. Can I ask what you mean by chemicals, favorable responses and scientists?
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    Izo: Responding to self deprecating jokes with spiteful arguments since 2012
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    Everything goes everywhere in everyone. It gets real messy.

  2. #562
    Spittin mad rhymes Troll's Avatar
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    Exercise is known to release dopamine.

    However, when a majority of depression cases appear to be serotonin/norepinephrin/things-other-than-dopamine disorders (trying to find the reference I saw on this), raising dopamine levels makes little difference at best.

  3. #563
    Registered User Dabamf's Avatar
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    The lit on what brain chemicals do what is so terribly messy that it's not worth even thinking about neurotransmitters unless you're a neuroscientist or neuropsychologist trying to unravel the mess. They're red herrings 100x more often than they are even remotely informative.

    Psychopharm is basically "heres a chemical, wtf does it do, oh it does this...um...maybe these chemicals then? Let's try to measure that...nope, not that chemical. That's weird then. Sooo...what about dopamine?"

  4. #564
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    Yea, that's what I meant. I didn't mean to rustle the jimmies of any real scientists here. My thought process:

    1) Exercise and eating well makes me feel good.
    2) Other people that exercise and eat well claim that they feel good, too.
    3) Someone that wants to feel good should try eating well and exercising.

    Shrug.

  5. #565
    Spittin mad rhymes Troll's Avatar
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    Talking to my PCP and my therapist, they almost think I went through the equivalent of chemical shock therapy. Not the recommended route for treatment, and not a cure, but fuck... I'm happy. I really am. I don't know how to say it better.

  6. #566
    Etoille Etoille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dabamf View Post
    ^ good post

    My parents had a prolonged, horrible divorce that followed several years of daily screaming in each others' faces. I was just becoming a teen when they divorced, and my parents didn't stop the daily phone bickering and bad mouthing each other until I was out of high school, if not later. My mom got sucked into it just as much as my dad, but all of us kids slowly grew apart from him and not her. In retrospect, it was because she always cared most about us, and when she'd resort to childish behavior, it was only out of frustration. My dad on the other hand, was far more concerned with "losing" in the divorce--financially, in custody, and in reputation. He'd go across the street to ask the neighbors their opinion on some fight, then come back reporting that they agreed with him. He was so afraid that my mom was "brainwashing" us that he'd tell us routinely that she was trying to turn us against him. Yea, she'd say some shit she shouldn't have, but it was all out of frustration. He'd do it in this calculated way.

    In the end, 15 years later, we are all super close with our mom, and 2 of the 3 of us haven't talked to our dad in over 5 years (our choice). Care about your kids, put their interests first, and endure the shittiness of the divorce without bringing the kids into it. If your ex starts pulling some shit, fight it or bear it, but keep it from the kids. If you think your ex is badmouthing you, don't play detective with them to figure out what it is. Just be a good parent and care about them.

    Kids know who is full of shit. They ALWAYS know. So when you're thinking about trying to get involved in the power game, the "oh I'll just let slip this little bit of unsavory info about their other parent" game, your kids will know and it will harm your relationship, and harm them. I think if more parents knew that, people would be less shitty to each other after divorce. Even if you're losing the financial battle or god forbid the custody battle, the better parent will always win in the currency of relationship with their kids.
    My home situation was fucked up....a lot. Emotional and physical abuse big time. My dad was a controlling selfish alcoholic who cheated on my mom. She in turn took her frustration out on me. Not an awesome situation. He left 3 days after Christmas my sophomore year in college. He tried to be all like 'oh well I stayed all those years for you guys (the kids)' - bullshit dude where the fuck were you? Oh right. On the golf course or drinking. I remember begging him to come to shit. Couldn't be bothered. Showed up shitfaced and 3 hours late to get started on travelling for family vacations. Reality is the dude cannot deal with being told what to do. So that's why he didn't leave when we were younger - he would have had to comply with support orders etc. (My sister was 17 at the time he left). I mean on DUI....3? He had to be held back in the courtroom from punching his own lawyer. Like in front of the judge. Fucktard. (DUI 4 was a hit and run two weeks before he walked out - and even though he had already rented an apartment elsewhere dude still had the balls to call my mom to come pick his ass up).

    Anyways unsurprisingly he said the same shit. About how she was manipulative brought up alienation of affection etc. Dude you didn't give a damn about what happened when you were here let alone after you left. Like if you make that argument you necessarily assume that you raised a fucking idiot who can't see through the bullshit. Though my relationship with my mom was in shambles I at least knew she would always be there. It was a long road but she was willing to work on it. Consequently so was I. With my dad....it was only ever about him. And one day I woke the fuck up and realized that not only would he never change (which I did a long time before that), but that I wasn't a shitty person for kicking him out of my life....it was like one of the most liberating experiences ever. I had given him plenty of warning he was a hair away from losing me and he just didn't give a shit - everything was about winning and I'm like dude it's over.

    Was 2 days before father's day 2006. Last day I talked, and will ever communicate with my father. He hasn't met my husband, he wasn't invited to the wedding, he will never know my kids. Best.decision.ever. It wasn't a decision made out of anger - in fact I finally could let the damn anger go. He tracked down my address in Virginia and would send cards occasionally with stuff like call me blah blah blah. Just got thrown away. We moved in July - I am assuming shit will start up again soon around the time xmas comes and whatever crap he sends is returned to sender (though it would be awesome if the new owner of our old house just throws the shit away).

    Now being a parent I look at his behavior and it just reinforces my decision. You only have such a short fucking time with your kids. How the hell do you just only care about doing you? Not that doing you isn't important to your health but like ONLY doing you? And if my kid wasn't talking to me you better believe I'd be doing more to fix shit than sending a couple cards a year (realistically at this point there's nothing he can do anyways but I'm illustrating a point here). The divorce was awful (the research about divorces being harder on adult kids I can say anecdotally is 100% true) - I was in the middle all the time I was trying to go to college 3.5 hours away but be crisis counselor for my entire family....but yeah I was the one who encouraged my mom to file. He just wanted to stay in limbo. Not get counseling not try and fix things - he just wanted to avoid spousal support other than what he thought he should pay. So yep. Kids figure it out.



    My college roommate's wife left him a couple months ago. Serves him right really. He started sleeping with her when she was still married to a dude serving in Iraq. Anyways she's still a whore and posting pics of herself, new guy and their toddler on facebook like all over the place and my best friend and I were talking about it and I realized.....exactly what you said. No matter how mad I can possibly fathom being at my husband......I can't imagine doing anything to try and get back my husband (like her posting those pics) because really all I'd be doing is hurting my kid. Obviously I wouldn't be a doormat and would protect myself so I could be in the best position to take care of my kids but like people who try and get sole custody with zero history of other parent behaving badly in re their kids? What the fuck are you doing? Like that's not about the kid that's about you. And yes I would miss my kids .....I can't even imagine how awful it would be to go to bed at night with my son not in the other room. We've had very few nights out since he's been born not due to lack of baby sitters or opportunity...but because I love being around him. But at the end of the day I am never going to take Daddy away because he needs Daddy too. Mommy and Daddy may not have worked out for some reason (if there was a safety issue ie drugs or not making good choices like parading a bunch of women through that's something else - but if he left me for someone else as in one person as long as she wasn't a psycho ok) but that doesn't mean Daddy and him are broken.
    Last edited by Etoille; Yesterday at 01:53 PM.

  7. #567
    FABULOUS Kuriin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dabamf View Post
    Psychopharm is basically "heres a chemical, wtf does it do, oh it does this...um...maybe these chemicals then? Let's try to measure that...nope, not that chemical. That's weird then. Sooo...what about dopamine?"
    That's not just psychopharm, that's many drugs. There're several drugs in my drugbook that say, "Drug mechanism unknown," /shrug

  8. #568
    Puts the suffer in insufferable. Izo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kuriin View Post
    That's not just psychopharm, that's many drugs. There're several drugs in my drugbook that say, "Drug mechanism unknown," /shrug
    Yeah, heh. Look up paracetamol
    Quote Originally Posted by Tuco View Post
    Izo: Responding to self deprecating jokes with spiteful arguments since 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by Soygen View Post
    Everything goes everywhere in everyone. It gets real messy.

  9. #569
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Been in therapy for four weeks now and I know that it gets worse before it gets better but like... this is way worse. It is taking over my life right now. I am so overwhelmed with it all that I break down crying randomly during the day for no reason other than it just feels like too much. I'd really like to know when it starts to get better. This really sucks.

  10. #570
    Rav Scam-Free Zone
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    Have you been put on happy pills yet? It's not a solution per se, but, for me anyways, I've found it really helps. I was resistant to the idea of drugs for years, but I finally got to the point where I said, fuck it, I'll try anything. It's amazing the effect it's had on even the way I think, you know?
    Quote Originally Posted by Big Flex View Post
    The lag makes you last longer.

  11. #571
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    I'd prefer not to use drugs if I can. I took anti depressants and anti anxiety meds when I was like 19 and they did nothing for me so I'm not keen on using them again. I'd like to try sticking with cognitive therapy if possible.

    Now that may change if this shit keeps up, who knows.

  12. #572
    Registered User Dabamf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    Been in therapy for four weeks now and I know that it gets worse before it gets better but like... this is way worse. It is taking over my life right now. I am so overwhelmed with it all that I break down crying randomly during the day for no reason other than it just feels like too much. I'd really like to know when it starts to get better. This really sucks.
    The "it gets worse before it gets better" mantra is not necessarily true. If you plot any given outcome on a graph by session, usually there is a slight increase in symptoms/distress/whatever till session 3, then a rapid decline for the next few sessions, then a gradual tapering off but still improvement. This is true for CBT usually, but it's important to remember these are typical outcomes. Some may improve faster or slower.

    However, anything involving a hefty amount of avoidance (anxiety & PTSD, maybe some depression) does usually cause a lot of distress because the most effective treatment is exposure. Best treatment for PTSD is prolonged exposure which is basically 50 minutes of mentally reliving the experience. Terrible, but extremely effective.

    Anyway, it depends on the nature of how you feel worse. If it is kind of destablizing or bringing up shit you've avoided for a while, that's good. If it's just feeling shitty about yourself, maybe your therapist is invalidating or isn't a good fit.

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