Not worth staying with someone because you think you're their only ward against suicide. Eject, eject.
It is so exhausting dealing with someone who has a bipolar disorder. My wife has been going through an episode that started at the end of March (go back to early April and you'll see my post on it). She's been seeing a therapist who works with her intensively (3 times a week and more as needed). Part of the problem is that her medications aren't right yet so we're still trying to figure that part out. Earlier this week they did a genetic test which is supposed to help them pinpoint which classes of medications are more likely to be effective than others. We'll see her psychiatrist again next week for results and, hopefully, changes to her medications for the better.
But last night her mania took over for awhile and she was refusing to take her medications that she has. Even though they're not 100% correct they do keep the worst of the symptoms down for the most part. But last night the mania just took over and it took me over an hour of fighting with her and a call to her therapist letting her know that my wife was being non-compliant before she finally took them. Since then the mania went away but her severe depression is back. Honestly I'm not sure which is worse... She has taken her medications on schedule though. She's classified as having a mixed type bipolar disorder and it appears that she does the rapid cycling. She can be "almost" fine for hours at a time and, literally, 30 seconds later her mood just drops and she's in a severe depression.
I'm just so sick of the whole situation and there's not a lot I can do about it. I'm angry and depressed but can't show it in front of her. If I leave (i.e. separate) she commits suicide. She hasn't threatened me with that but I know it will happen 100% for a fact. I'm seeing a therapist for myself which has helped a bit but I'm just worn out with those whole thing. The worst part is that the research I've done all shows that everything she's going through is "normal" and an episode like this can lasts months. I'm just praying that for once something goes our way and they can get her medications going in the right direction when we see her psychiatrist next week.
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