If you're financial situation is steep, why the hell would you be trying to date? That shit is expensive dog!
I moved out to BFEgypt and have no friends. I usually don't have many problems with meeting women and connecting with them, or even just hooking up, but between just getting over a heavy heroin addiction recently, I've lost a lot of my social drive and abilities to speak. They're coming back slowly. Anyways, I'm sure no one really cares about the details.
Can anyone recommend any decent websites for finding other singles? Would be nice to find a friend or maybe even spark the development of a relationship. Post reviews, please, if you have the time and/or experience with any of these sites. My financial situation is a little steep right now, so free is okay too, if any free sites do exist or are worthwhile at all. Thanks in advance for your time.
If you're financial situation is steep, why the hell would you be trying to date? That shit is expensive dog!
Well there is always OK Cupid. I've had good luck there, but it's a numbers game. I travel frequently and work way to much so I pretty much use it to make sure that I have a hookup wherever I am or someone to go out with when I'm home on the weekends. I don't want to be wasting my weekends trying to pick someone up. So here's the deal with OKC because it's free women get an absurd number of messages, and the attractive women get so many messages that they can't even cope with all of the ones coming into their inbox. So spending a bunch of time crafting messages for women that may or may not get read is sort of a waste of time.
To that end I'd suggest having a few templates ready to go so that you can fire off messages quickly. Templates about coffee, travel, and outdoor activities should get you about 90% of the way there. For anyone that doesn't mention one of those things in their profile have some sort of automatic standby ready to fire out, but something that proves you've read their profile. Your success rate sending out templated messages will be lower than crafting messages, but it does offer some benefits. The return on your time is way better, and you can fine tune your templates. If you have even the slightest hint of programming skills you can begin just automating your message sending. Obviously you need to be in a major metropolitan area for this to work well, but it's been pretty successful for me. Having a pretty tight profile that is easy and fun for women to respond to is also key.
The last fun fact is that you should go in there and answer a few questions or change a few words in your profile fairly often. It'll bring it to the top of the active queue. Ideally you want to do this during prime time when women are on there.
Anyhow, that's my $.02
Last edited by prescient63; 06-12-2013 at 02:34 AM.
Plenty of Fish is good for getting laid if that's what you're looking for. Relationships not so much.
Originally Posted by supertouch
for those who asked:
i haven't sucked her penis but i have stroked it. it sounds odd but i don't view it as a masculine organ on her.
eHarmony is really good if you're looking for serious dating/relationships. It's shitty if you're just looking for friendship/casual stuff because it has lots of initial hoops to jump through before you can really start communicating with someone.
Plenty of Fish or OKCupid are probably ideal for your situation. 1) they're free, 2) they're more friendly towards casual dating than pay sites and 3) as an ex-drug addict you'll fit right in with the average user.
I found OKCupid had better quality people in my area than PoF did. Either way those will be your main two sites you'll want to be using.
It's probably a dubious honor but I've tried most of them at one point or another with varying success. They've certainly gotten me laid more times than I can count.. Here's my feedback:
Eharmony: Total shit. Probably the worst of the bunch. You have to wait for them to send you matches and once you eliminate the trolls you aren't left with much. Though you aren't obliged to, you generally have to go through a 4 step process of multiple choice questions and short answers before you get to the actual direct communication point. The girls I met were the farthest thing possible from "compatible", so I don't know what their "matching algorithm" is but it seems to suck ass. Oh yeah, it's also the most expensive of all sites unless you pay for 6 months up front.
Plenty of Fish: You can tell this service must be free because the site is programmed like shit. The women on the site are generally poor white trash, though you can find some decent picks if you dedicate enough time and effort. Of course it is free, but if you can't afford to spend $35 a month on something better you aren't in a position to take a chick out on a date anyways
OkCupid: From a feature and compatibility profiling aspect I liked this site the most. They have hundreds of questions you can answer that then match you up with other people, so if a chick has answered 200+ questions with 90% similarity to your own, you pretty much know you'll get along. However, despite having the best features of the bunch, the quality of the chicks was pretty underwhelming-- mostly either trashy or hipster/tattoo types in my area and very few "working professionals". I would probably attribute this to the fact that most of the site features are free.
Match.com: Mid range in terms of features but an extremely high quantity of females and the best "quality" chicks amongst all the sites. I was disappointed that they don't have more sophisticated matching like the OkCupid questionnaire, but the site itself is solid, has most features you could ask for, and has a lot of professional as well as hot women..
My recommendation is to sign up for Match.com with the free version of OkCupid as secondary..
I had great success with eHarmony*. It varies wildly depending on where you are, but I was matched with some awesome girls and had some really great dates. The main thing I liked about it was that it didn't require me to craft some witty message to get girls' attention; I just signed up and waited, and a couple times a week I'd have some girl starting that silly "guided communication" thing, which is really quick and easy to do. It's very low-effort and I liked that.Eharmony: Total shit. Probably the worst of the bunch. You have to wait for them to send you matches and once you eliminate the trolls you aren't left with much. Though you aren't obliged to, you generally have to go through a 4 step process of multiple choice questions and short answers before you get to the actual direct communication point. The girls I met were the farthest thing possible from "compatible", so I don't know what their "matching algorithm" is but it seems to suck ass. Oh yeah, it's also the most expensive of all sites unless you pay for 6 months up front.
Bottom line to anyone thinking about using these sites: try as many as you can--or at least, try the free ones + one pay site. Results will be different in every city so you never know unless you give them a shot.
* I should add I am in the D.C Metropolitan area, which is apparently one of the better places in the country to find 20-something singles, so that might explain the success.
I think that the sites can be pretty regional. Being that POF was started out of Vancouver, it tends to be pretty big in Western Canada and I think along the West Coast of the US. In Edmonton anyways POF is pretty much the main dating website from what I can see, with everything from complete trash to classy bitches. Eharmony I also found terrible, with next to no selection and overall just a super fucking annoying process to go through. Never really used Okcupid or Match at all.
oderint dum metuant
I've used Match, OKC and POF.
I can basically echo most of what Wombat said. The exception being that on Match, because people are paying for it, they tend to fall into the trap of "I will find the PERFECT person". I met a lot of very insincere people on Match who were trying to front themselves as some sort of saint to attract the most people possible. A lot of the women were dating 3 or 4 guys at once just to "get their money's worth". Of course... I was doing the same thing but... it's not great for finding something real (all the sites have that problem though honestly, when so many people are at your fingertips it's hard not to see what else is out there). The difference was on the free sites people are far more honest about it.
On POF I had plenty of good dates... with broken people. Getting blown in a public parking lot or going home with someone on a first date is fun, but it's also empty and meaningless when you realize you really have nothing in common with this person.
On OKC I usually had to wait until the second date for any of that. I guess the women their hold themselves to a higher standard than women on POF? I actually met a few girls I was genuinely interested in on OKC. In fact I am dating one right now.
The first time I used Match I was on it for two weeks and met a girl I was sure I was going to marry. We dated for about a year and half, lived together, talked about having children and then it just ended. When that didn't work out I tried it again and found absolutely nothing. There are far more professional, ambitious women on Match. There are also far more judgments being passed. Because you are a recovering drug addict I would recommend staying away from Match. I think it would only be a depressing venture for you.
I've never tried eHarmony because I don't want to be told who I should and should not date. I'll make that decision and send messages as I see fit.
It really depends on your personal geography. Some places are hot on OKC and others POF while others Match. With OKC/POF you aren't out anything since they're free. I found people on match to be more serious since you're behind a pay wall. eHarmony is absolute shit. You can't even actually talk with the people until the final step.
lol I didn't even pass EHarmony's personality test to even be allowed to use the site. Not sure if they still do that or not.
Not sure, but wasn't it started by a bunch of evangelicals or something? I seem to recall reading somewhere that it mostly started out as a Christian dating website or something. They were or still are hardcore opposed to the homosexshuls.
I made a profile on eHarmony years back after I got dumped by my gf, but I never ended up paying/using the site (wasn't ready yet). I put some plenty of "[email protected]" answers in the personality test and it didn't reject based on that.
As for same-sex stuff, I remember some ad on TV where Match was pointing out eHarmony didn't allow that type of user.
One of my cousins used Match and he found a nice girl through that. My brother-in-law's brother used Plenty of Fish and got dates with cracked out drunks who were crazy. Moral to the story: You get what you pay for with dating sites heh.
eHarmony doesn't actively discriminate against gays, but there are no settings to get same-sex matches. If you're a guy you only get female matches and vice-versa.
OKCupid seems to be a bigger west coast thing. I know some girl who tried to get eFame by going on 1,000 dates through that site (lives in Cali).
Grindr, Mister, Scruff, BarebackRTS, Adam4Adam, Manhunt, and Silverdaddies.
I've tried POF and OKC sporadically the past few years. The main problem is that women don't even have to try when it comes to e-dating sites. They get bombarded with messages at an insane rate even the ugly ones. It really tilts the scale compared to what would happen at a club. Most men will only pay attention to the top 10% at a club/bar. E-dating even the ugliest get messages which makes their ego stupid inflated.
What I've found is that POF is full of 18-20 year olds that pretend they want something serious but they are immature and vain as fuck. Not worth your time honestly because they just want the attention. Anything over 21 is probably broken or looks like a carnival worker. You don't usually want these women.
OKC is better if you're 21+. The women are usually a little higher class and more mature. However, they fall into the trap all women on e-dating sites fall into. They want Mr. Perfect and they won't settle (which is probably why they are still single and there are so many 30+ women alone). If you're into low-average women then it's probably easier to pick some up here with success and probably have something meaningful. The ones that I'd give a second look at in person are sometimes just there for free attention to boost their ego or get free meals. It's still better than the dregs of society you see on PoF though.
One time I even did a test for shits and giggles. I put my profile as gay on both and the amount of traffic went up 400%. Either men don't give a fuck or it shows women on these sites are fucking retarded. Haven't completely decided yet.
Last edited by kudos; 12-08-2013 at 04:44 PM.
Trading Internets for a girlfriend. PST
Not everything on the internet is true - Abraham Lincoln
I met my girlfriend on okcupid 3 years ago and we are still going strong. It is or was a good site, about 1 in 10 people I talked to on there were worth going on a date with and they all come with baggage. Most people lie on their profiles mainly about the amount of money they make or their weight. My advice to you, make a funny profile and be yourself. When emailing them just shoot the shit like you would a old friend. It becomes pretty obvious that way if they are worth meeting. Give it more then one date too most first impressions are awkward for blind dates.
If you have facebook, the Tinder phone app is the way to go.
I dont live in a major city but had good luck with Tinder, definitely a younger crowd on there though(early 20's). It requires FB to use it though. I've had friends(who didnt have FB) create new FB accounts and it's still not showing them anything, so i dunno if they have some sort of spam protection or what.
I have been online dating since AoL chat room days and trust me when I say ignore Tinder. It is fun to fuck around and see who is on there and who matches up with you but the odd of you getting laid much less a girlfriend is non-existent. Stick to Ok-Cupid for the free choice and Match for the paid.
Match.com is awful. That is all I have to say about it. Not worth the cost-
Tinder is fucking terrible. Met one "cool" girl in like 3 weeks of using it.
I use OKC and Match atm. I've met quite a few girls in Seattle through OKC and Match, and they all had baggage. I think from here on out I will use Eharmony and OKC, though talking to women in person when I am out and about is way easier. Like most people that posted in this thread, I concur with the whole "mr. perfect" mentality. My last gf was a prime example of this. She was a huge waste of time for a girl that was not worth her salt in any department other than finances.
Has anyone also noticed that at least 75% of the chicks on POF and OKC are smokers? It's phenomenally annoying if you're disgusted by it as much as I am.
Well I don't know if they get "double". Maybe slightly more but I don't think it would be anything significant. I certainly don't ever even give bisexual women a second glance and I think most other straight people (men and women) are the same way.
By the way, this is why I don't date young women
Montana newlywed Jordan Linn Graham pleads guilty in murder - CNN.com
They'll push you off a fucking cliff for yelling at them.
Last edited by Khane; 12-13-2013 at 03:19 PM.
The guy was stupid as fuck for arguing near a cliff. Rookie mistake. Hell, I make sure never to argue in the kitchen because there are knives close by.
I like okcupid. I started for the questions, stayed for the people. Works for me. Since lost people are on all the sites, it is six of one and half a dozen of the other.
Oh, as for smokers, only 21% listed themselves as smoking to some degree (this includes yes, sometimes, when drinking, and trying to quit).
I get that you're probably exaggerating some but these kind of mental exaggerations start influencing your mindset eventually.
To add to dating experiences, I will say I've had three meaningful relationships with intelligent women on OKC in the past 6-7 years. The woman I'm dating now, will live with soon, and will likely marry I met on OKC. It probably helps if you're a little bit older (25-30ish) and actually look in your age group instead of trying to find someone 5-10 years younger, which a lot of guys do.
Last edited by DickTrickle; 12-15-2013 at 04:52 AM.
I'll rephrase, most women matched up with me on OKCupid are Bisexual.
I looked at the 100% enemy ones out of curiosity and they are all straight with multiple kids.
I still find it hard to believe that at least 51% of your matches are bisexual. Maybe so.
The most annoying part about all the sites is that virtually all messages I receive are along the lines of "hi how are you", particularly dumb when their profiles are incomplete but regardless if I have to spend time starting a conversation why wouldn't I start it with a person I'm interested in?
Another thing that seems prevelant and from a few female profiles apparently men do the same - I do sports -> body type athletic.
Wife and I were curious about how well these sites work, we have several friends who use them some with success some without. So we both made profiles and filled them out as if we were now single wanting to see if how close the system would match us. Decided to use OkCupid since it was free and seemed easy enough to set up. She has a few more hundred questions to answer tonight but by question 150 or so it was already listing on both our profiles the other has a top #3 choice within 100 miles. I actually didn't expect that I went into it figuring that while my wife and I get along really well we still differ on a fair number of things, but they are superficial things which the site seems good at helping you pick out by stating how much the various answers matter to you.
I have never been on a dating website before since I've been with my wife since before they existed but looking at the top 40 girls it recommends for me there is maybe only 2 or 3 I would even consider contacting (there are tons of overweight women). And holy crap do girls get attention on there, it's entertaining to see the messages and number of visitors to my wife's profile. The whole experience leaves me glad I'm not single at this age, but is probably a more comfortable way to meet new people than sitting at a bar.
For the guys using OKCupid do you feel like when the site says someone is a high% match and then actually meeting/talking to them do you feel does a good job sorting people you would get along with?
My First Day Stats
That seems like an even worse idea than contacting an old flame on Facebook after years "just to catch up". What are you guys thinking?
You needed some computer algorithm to tell you your wife was a better match for you than thousands of strange women you've never even met? And your buddy needed his "happily" married insecure friend to scope out a dating website for him to tell him "yeah it's legit"? You realize how ridiculous that sounds I hope.
You're opening up a whole can of worms with such a silly experiment.
Figured out how to "hack" okcupid to make it much easier for men. After I'm done testing it i will post how and my results. Buying GOLD is pointless on that site now though and so is the BOOST option.
Best dating advice: MGTOW
I'm actually one of the most fun people you'll probably never meet. I just think this little experiment was silly and has the potential to lead to... issues.
I have trouble figuring out what led to such a curiosity for him and his wife other than one of them "innocently" wanting to see what else was out there, and that's usually how things start. I shouldn't have said anything. This forum knows better than anyone that Facebook and video games and the internet in general never break up marriages. What was I thinking?
Yes, Blazin went "all-in" on Ravven. He was kind(?) enough to share the entire thing, basically confirming suineg's accusations at the time. I kind of had the same thoughts that Khane did as well. I just don't really care enough to question him about it.
I already explained the curiosity about the site came from two people close to us recently divorced and back out dating after 10-15 yrs.
I have never dated in my life , been with my wife since I was 17. You mostly likely don't get it because it's something you know enough about to not be curious how a dating website is set up.
Neither of us had ever even seen one. We goofed around for one night had fun accounts deleted. You guys must be use to some pretty fragile relationships.
Tonight she is going to fuck a black dude while I watch because we've never done that so hope that goes well.
Last edited by Blazin; 12-24-2013 at 12:38 AM.
I signed up on OKC and holy fuck are there a lot of fat chicks on there (it must be like 95%).
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