I'll be on the same cruise looking at you, Mr. G style!
I'll be on the same cruise looking at you, Mr. G style!
My wife and I went on a cruise for our honeymoon and stopped in Cozumel. We had i think about 6 to 8 hours on the island and didn't want to be bothered with the huge crowds at the free beaches. We paid the $55 per person for Nachi Cocom. It's limited to about 100 people for their entire beach. It's all you can drink and they have one waiter assigned to you and maybe two other parties. It has a swim up bar in the pool too. Now two notes, one is that the restaurant has stupid high prices, but you get a 4 course lunch with that $55 for each person, and two the entrance looks bad and don't let it fool you. I think we ate 2 appetizers and one entree and were stuffed and it was pretty damn good food. They have para sailing and stuff too and it's not too expensive as long as you prepay before you arrive. For a day of relaxing and getting drunk while floating in the ocean or pool it was awesome.
Last edited by Sendaar; 04-06-2013 at 02:52 PM.
I went to Nachi Cocom about 6 or 7 years ago. My wife went on a girls cruise last year and went there again. I would also highly recommend it if you're looking for a beach day.
Girlfriend and I stopped in Cozumel on our cruise in December and ended up hopping on one of the party boats right on the port, $50 a person and unlimited Dos Equis or Cervasas(sp) plus an hour of snorkeling and another hour at a private beach with the massive inflatable ocean playground shit. Pretty much a water park for adults we got wasted and had a blast on the slides and trampolines etc.
Did the carnival sponsored excursion where i learned how to scuba, I enjoyed it.
If you like to drink and don't mind some rot gut a booze cruise is a lot of fun. I find most of the shit they serve to be pretty low quality so its not my thing. YMMV.
Carols & Charlies is the standard tourist booze spot (old one is best). Depending on where you dock the original is either right in front the the single / possibly double ship docking area. If you come into the straw hut area then its north (out the gate and left) down the main road. Take a cab there. Things can get really rolling at the original one I'd recommend it over the others. If its busy they do Congo lines of free shots, will play with your wife's tits (when you order a shot) and it gets pretty rowdy in a rich white person from the 80's / 90's sort of way. Lots of fun. Don't get sucked into staying at the terminal area. There are bars there but meh.
There is also a shit ton of shopping near the old carols and charlies on the main drag and a street or two further east. Main road shopping is main road shopping though. Further in you go the more likely you are to see more than the typical crap. Natives also sell their shit on the main road that cuts through the middle of the island.
There are a few pharmacies you can pick stuff up at as well. We usually just pick up some antibiotics but you can get a lot of stuff there without a script. Don't bring any narcs home with you though. The pharmacy at the dock has less available than the one inland.
There is a half ass zip line place you can do south of the hotels which is further south of the main docking area. Not worth it.
One of the areas south of the docking terminal and pretty close has a nice pool area and ocean toy place you can mess around at. They charge to use the toys I don't remember if they charge to go to the pool. They have servers all around for booze. Jet skis, inflatable slides and jumping pillows in the ocean, para sailing etc.. The works. You can barter with them for lower prices on the motorized stuff.
East side of the island has some blow holes you can go see if you grab a car or scooter. There is also a few nice / sheltered beach areas on that side. Most of it is iron shore but there are some really nice and quieter areas there.
Bob Marley's is somewhere, I can't remember exactly where but I think its south tip? Anyway drive around the island and if you see it they have a nice beach there. I think they have some good fritters too.
If you are a SCUBA diver then run don't walk to the computer and book yourself some double tank dives. Besides Blood bay / Jackson wall off Little Cayman and a few select places off Belize this is some of the best diving you can possible do without going to Australia or Hawaii. Must see.
If you booze it up don't get so fucked up you miss the ship.
Last edited by Kedwyn; 04-15-2013 at 10:32 PM.
Agree with above, if you dive then dive in Cozumel, it is an amazing place a for that. If you don't dive then the other ideas are good, I personally hated the strip right when you get off the boat, dirty, stinky and lots of locals yelling at you to buy there overpriced crap, if you can get away to something else.
When you dock, get away from your wife. Go down the right to the right (keep the ocean on your right.) You'll pass up a gas station, and about 100 ft past that is a big white multi story building. It's a whore house. Bring cash. $80 for whatever you want. You just walk in, pick the girl, and pay and go upstairs and get sucked and fucked. It will seem seedy but it's fine.
After you've had at least 2-3 mexicans fuck you and suck you off, meet back with your wife and go to the opposite side of the island. Fuck the tourist side. Go to Bob Marley's Beach Bar, sit on the ocean, eat some chips and dip, and fucking just sit there and look at the ocean and drink a cold beer. And pretend you love her and that you didn't just fuck three homeless mexicans.
I had a carnival cruise stop here march of 2012. My brother and I decided to do the atv tour around the Mayan ruins/jungle. It was about a 45 minute bus ride to that part of the island. It was a cool excursion, tool around the trails then stop at a few different spots during the tour to talk and see the sites. Worth the 40-50$ it costs. After that it was pretty much the drink near the ship thing. If I had a scuba cert I would go that route, from talking to divers it's one coolest spots in the carribean to dive.
The 4wheeler thing sounds neat, but I found the ruins lame, just big flat pieces of cement that were something s long time ago. It would prob be fun on a atv and not walking around in the sweltering heat.
Honestly though, the best thing on the whole island, besides the nearly free limitless pussy, is to go to the opposite side of the island and have a beer and chips and guacamole at bob marley beach bar it's at the southeast corner of the island. It's pure chill. When you leave the beach bar, head north on east side of island, plenty of empty beaches, etc. before you make th big left turn to go back to the tourist area is another awesome place, I think called coconuts or something, and it's up a steep hill. Same chill environment but overlooking the ocean. Pretty awesome. Nothing else in all of Cozumel can compare to that feeling of those two places.
Avoid the day trip to Tulum. Miserable 500 degree bus ride that stops at more shops and flea markets to get you to spend money than time spent at the ruins. That and your shit will get robbed if you leave it on the bus.
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