I'd likely be busy for the day and unable to attend. You misjudged the relationship you had, not a biggie. Can still be friendly neighbors, but now you know what is what /shrug
I have something I would like your opinions on and figured might as well turn it into a general anyone can ask anything thread.
Friend of mine is getting married in a couple months. I live next door to him since grade 7 in school and we hung out almost every weekend and most days of the week. A couple years after highschool ended he moved to a different city and I stayed. We talked every now and then and the occasional time we would hang out. He has more of a party mentality and I devolped more of a family one. I got married and had children while he went to house parties etc. He along with his entire family (sisters,parents) were invited to my wedding.
Well the other day I got a Facebook message telling me that my wife and I were invited to his wedding, but to the dance only. So I texted him for clarification asking whether I was invited to see him get married but not to the dinner. He said that I could come see him get married if I wanted to but I would have to find something to do for the next 6 hours before the dance started. In my mind I feel I basically invited myself to the ceremony as it didnt come off that he was planning to invite me there.
So I looked through the list of people invited by facebook to the dance and realize they are just mostly aquaintences and not people he would truly call friend. I then figured out who would be getting an actual invite to the wedding based on who was omitted to the invite from Facebook and thought that it was dickheaded on his part to invite some of those people to the whole thing and not me.
So what would you guys do? Go to just the dance and be cool with it, or plan to ignore the whole thing and just let the day pass by?
I'd likely be busy for the day and unable to attend. You misjudged the relationship you had, not a biggie. Can still be friendly neighbors, but now you know what is what /shrug
I'd go, get absolutely hammered, and tell everyone you come across the most embarrassing stories you can remember from your growing up together. Maybe try to fuck his new wife. But seriously though, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Maybe it's a kick in the pants to some extent, but I really doubt he means any ill will by it. From the sounds of it you guys have drifted apart since you were younger and he's become closer with other people. I'd still go, because really you got invited to the most fun part of the wedding anyways.
I think it's kind of odd to only invite someone to a part of your wedding though. Never really heard of that.
That's why I tried to have a super-inclusive wedding and reception so I didn't have to make the tough calls on who is invited to what and so that people I actually considered close didn't fall through the cracks. The latter is especially a problem if the groom doesn't have strong oversight on the invitation process which is commonly true.
Personally I wouldn't go but I wouldn't be offended over the snub. If the wedding was somewhere fun that I could find other shit to do I might go, but hell I hate weddings in general.
Yeah, I wouldn't go. Fuck it. Weddings are a giant waste of time hanging out with people you barely know anyway unless they're family. Why fucking bother?
Is it open bar?
After the conversation you had with him it will be obvious that you are pissed if you don't go. It will likely cause problems with whatever relationship you do have. If you want to keep being acquaintances, suck it up and go, celebrate his marriage and congratulate him. If you don't care about speaking with the guy anymore, skip it. It makes you look kind of petty but if you truly don't care about the guy anymore, it doesn't really matter.
Go to the wedding but pack an MRE. While in the pew pour the tobasco in the heater (more for extra efficacy) and then add ample water and quickly tape/secure it air-tight. Drop it under the pew go use the bathroom.
The ensuing pop and hissing of tobasco-tear gas will deliver your message of discontent as wedding-goers flee to safety.
Extra points for throwing it up in the air for an air-burst.
Last edited by Friday; 03-22-2013 at 08:55 PM.
This sounds like something a woman would complain about.
Honestly, fuck weddings. Have you been to one of those things? I'd pass.
Sucks to say, but perhaps you two have just gone different directions. Should of been a clue a long time ago when you had a focus on family and he had a focus on getting fucked up.
I think the best advice you can get here is along the lines of forget about it. Whatever it is that's getting ya worked up about this just let it go. Trolling facebook to find out who got snubbed? Duuuuude. Stop, take a breath.
Doesn't sound like it'll matter if you go or not.
Don't be a pussy. Go and try to have a good time. Life is too fucking short to pass up opportunities to get drunk and celebrate with people.
if you are sour grapes on it, then dont go. politely decline, and send your $200 gift check (or whatever is appropriate these days). then, a few months down the line, if its still bothering you, you can mention you were upset to not be invited to the wedding.
No way in hell I would go. Sounds like the type of person that thinks everything is about him... that his life events are unique and special and everyone is excited for them.
Fuck that dude... no way I would go.
Don't whiz on electric fences.
I wouldn't go, don't even want to go to my own
i need an auto tune program, that works with like skype in game voice chat etc, halp
Thread: Vicodin, Cigarettes, and My Fake Tits - from the diary of the Megan Fox of Ohio
That's awful and you should feel bad.
02-19-2013 02:33 PM
Thread: The ethics of stealing video games
Your justification in life is merely self serving. Imagine if society was 100% people like you, fuck living in that place.
05-15-2015 05:31 AM
the idiot who plays blessed shield with no jenkebabobob or foote
Maybe have a heart-to-heart with your old friend.
My guess is you don't know the future bride at all? That may be the biggest reason for the snub. If it's a traditional marriage, then her family is paying for the wedding, and *perhaps* it's a smaller intimate affair, and she is being really picky on who to invite to the wedding, i.e. people she is familiar with. Maybe she doesn't even realize how good of friends you and your friend were in the past. You look at the guest list and you only see casual acquaintances, but to your friend and his future bride, they may be more familiar with them than they are with you. The fact that you didn't know about the wedding until he told you on Facebook makes me think you two aren't that close anymore....did you even realize he was close to getting engaged?
So maybe he's not inviting you to the ceremony because of his bride, and she's got his balls in a vice. Or maybe he just doesn't feel you are that good of a friend anymore. Or maybe he didn't realize you would feel slighted not being invited to the wedding after all the years you guys have drifted away from each other. In any case, I still feel communication is the key, and based on what he tells you is the reason you aren't invited to the ceremony, you can decide whether or not you want to go.
Or maybe he knows you so well and how much men hate weddings, so he decided to spare you the agony?
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
As for the OP...your next door neighbor messaged you in facebook...? About which parts of his wedding you may attend? Serious man card demerits.
Can you imagine being at the dance and being asked " Why weren't you at the ceremony or dinner/whatever"? That would be fun. Asking permission to attend a party seems like a mood killer from the get go, I would not attend but also not hold a grudge.
...I'd definitely have my dog poop on his lawn a few times though
I was out drinking with some friends and some dude was trying to start a fight with one of my buddies. When it became clear there was no way out of this except to leave, we left. The guy followed us out to the car and attacked my friend. I sucker punched him and he hit the concrete really hard. Knocked him out. He said he was an off-duty cop. He said a lot of stupid shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how fucked am I?
If he attacked your friend and there's multiple witnesses to it, you shouldn't be in any trouble.
Fucked level = 3
Bro level = 9
If he really is an off-duty copy you're lucky he didn't shoot you dead immediately and falsify all reports. He would've been suspended with pay at most. The fact that you're here posting is a miracle.
Not fucked at all. Worst case you got into a barfight with an off duty cop and coldcocked the dumbass. He's not gonna come back on you three days later and serve papers. That would require admitting to all of his "friends" that he got into a barfight and lost. If he's the type of dumbass that's gonna snivel away with "I'm an off duty cop! you don't know who you're fucking with!" he's the type of dumbass that cares what his "friends" think.
Most probable case is that at most he's a security guard.
So i'm being transfered because of my job and I'm going to northern texas. Whats the verdict on the area? Will be a city outside of Dallas - undetermined yet.
Need a little advice, kind of strange I guess.
I'm graduating next semester so naturally I'm sending out resumes and stuff. My school occasionally alerts us of opportunities and usually they're garbage or looking for someone with a PhD.. but this one caught my interest. Basically the air force is looking for electrical/computer engineering majors graduating between January and May of 2014 (which I fall into). Some benefits include:
- $3000 monthly (Housing allowance, Base salary, Food allowance)
- Full medical and dental coverage
- Full use of all Air Force facilities
- Guaranteed engineering officer position in the AF
- Air Force DOD ID Card – E-3 rank until start of Basic Officer Training (after graduation you will be an O-1, 2nd Lieutenant)
- Top Secret Security Clearance
It's some engineering officer program, where I would need to dedicate 4 years of my life to. Obviously my other options are to go and look for a normal engineering job.
Anyone with any experience in military or even this program that can chime in? I've dealt with military recruiters before, and most of them are cutthroat assholes.. so I really want to do research out of what this guy will tell me. How is military pay vs. non-military? Will I need to travel often/relocate often?
Any advice? I know it's a personal decision, but I don't want to go into this and be fucked.
I have a close friend who went through the ROTC program and then went on through the four year officer training. Now he's a pilot in the Air Force and he loves it. He travels around quite a bit and I think gets relocated every four years. An officer in the Air Force sounds like a 5-star job. You're treated like a celebrity. Or maybe that's just pilots.
I've spent about the last 10 years of my career as either a firmware lead or a manager for firmware teams (reviewing and hiring lots of computer engineering types).
I can tell you that, in my experience, the market is really tight on guys that can write embedded software. If you're a talented engineer, with good interpersonal skills, and a good work ethic, you can make some pretty good money. Probably much better than anything you will make in the USAF.
Even if you're more average, you can do pretty well. As a hiring manager, I have found it to be really difficult finding talent in the midwest- but I'm picky.
Straight out of school in the midwest, you should be able to clear about $45k-$60k, depending on the company, the location, your grades, your internships, how well you interview, etc. From there, it can increase quickly if you prove yourself to be valuable and reliable.
My knowledge with the USAF is limited to ROTC. I thought it was a good experience but my guess is you'd do better going the civilian route.
Thanks for the information. I write firmware at my internship now and pull in $50k/year, so I would expect my first job to be a bit more than that - but I work at a fortune 500 company so my mileage could vary.
I'm leaning towards no at the moment anyways, but I was looking for some people to chime in anyways because I would hate to turn down any opportunity.
Some sub industries of the tech industry are practically nonexistent outside of the coastal areas. Unless you want to live in Texas...
I live in MA, so real estate prices while not insane are still fairly high I'd say. I think they're on the decline, but truthfully I haven't even begun looking yet.
My internship pays well (EMC), but I'm not sure if they will offer me a job or not so I'm trying to spread out for other opportunities for now.
Real estate prices in the DC area are insane. I'm looking for work in Atlanta (biotech) because for the price of my 980sqft condo I can but a large, new house there in one of the state's best school districts. In essence fuck NoVa and Montgomery County MD.
I honestly don't understand how people afford to live in places like NY, DC, LA, San Fran, etc, with their insane cost of real-estate. I understand that salaries are higher in general than here in the midwest, but they aren't 5-10x higher, like the price of real-estate is 5-10x higher. My wife watches all those real estate shows on HGTV and crap, and I about sh*t myself when I see someone in San Francisco spending 1.5 mil on a house that would run about 175K here in the midwest. I have an uncle in LA whose house appraises for 900K, and it's small. It's probably 2/3 as big as my $160K house here in KC. The only reason he affords it is that he's 70 years old and bought it back in the 60s for like 30K.
The other thing to keep in mind for people living in those cities, whether in the US or similar ones in Europe, Asia and so on is that you don't spend much time at home when you live in a city like that. You don't need a backyard, because you have parks everywhere. You don't need a home theatre room, because there's all kinds of entertainment nearby. You don't have a massive kitchen with butler's pantry because some of the best dining in the world is a block away. It's not for everyone, but there's upsides to go with the downsides. Otherwise nobody would live in those places. Which they unquestionably do.
Not sure if most of the alternatives you listed are equitably priced.
No one is disputing that it's more expensive to live in those kinds of cities.
I was more addressing the specific complaint of how expensive/tiny housing is in large cities. Again, no one is disputing that big cities are more expensive than living in Bumfuck Egypt.
But that expense is at least partially offset by more opportunities for culture, education, entertainment, and earning potential. How much of that is offset and whether it's a worthwhile trade is up to the individual to decide. Personally I don't know that I'd want to live in a mega-city full time, but I wouldn't want to live in suburbia or a rural area either. At least at this point in my life. Being in a mid-size city kind of gets you the best of both worlds in a lot of ways.
Ah, that was just to house size? Sorry, my bad.
Earning potential probably outweighs all others, easily. I often worry if I'm making the right choice settling down in Ithaca, NY in regards to my career. I'm worried I'll have to move someday to Boston or California to get noticeable raises. Had an interview in Boston a while back. Just the traffic on the drive in(2 hours from Chelmsford to Camden) was enough for me to swear off the city.
I think a lot of it is people that continually bought and sold and moved up. So they bought something for $100,000, sold for $250,000, used that as a downpayment for a $400,000 home, sold that for $600,000, and used that as a downpayment on a near million dollar place. Because of the real estate bubble though, that process only took a decade.
As far as the Air Force, I did a 6 year enlistment in the Army (and I bring that up only to point out that I knew what I was getting into). Got out, got my degree, and joined the Navy as a pilot. I got a few weeks into OCS and decided that it wasn't for me. If your primary motivator is money, well, you're already making about what you would as an O-1. The pay as an officer is actually pretty decent compared to most occupations, but as an engineer it'll come up short. If you're interested in engineering as a primary skill, don't join either. If you're wanting management experience, however, I'd give it some serious thought. As an example, as a pilot, you maybe fly a few hours a week. The rest of the time you're managing sailors. In a 4 year commission, you will have a significant amount of time managing people. Way more than you'd get anywhere else.
The clearance alone is worth a lot of money. I would consider it.
Dallas is a great place to move to if you're educated and your priority is work and saving money. People here in general are so fucking dumb it's easy to stand out when looking for a job.. From a pure get up, go to work, and come home standpoint it's great. Meeting male friends who want to do something other than drink beer and shoot shit and chicks that want to be married by 21 and go to church-- well good luck..
Small city outside Dallas could mean plano which could be fine, or it could mean Greenville, and holy shit look out. I wouldn't live anywhere in north Texas besides Dallas proper or the park cities.
So much of this forum makes Texas sound like a less-than-mediocre place. And we tend to have rather well-traveled individuals in these parts. Austin sounds like the only place worth a shit in Texas. The only city in Texas I've visited is Houston - and that place is awful. Where does the Texas pride come from?
I've never actually lived in Texas, but from visiting/vacationing there a lot(lot of friends in Texas), Austin is cool, and I've always enjoyed San Antonio as well. West Texas is a desolate shithole(everything between Dallas and Albuquerque, NM blows), and Dallas just seems like the absolute most generic large city I've ever been to. It's like the entirety of Dallas was built around the basis of chain restaurants and shopping centers. It has all of the perks and downsides you would expect from a big city, but nothing really unique or memorable to set it apart like a Chicago or San Francisco or Miami.
As for fucking Plano, dear God.. It's basically the suburbia that so desperately wants to be Park Cities, but doesn't quite have the money to get there. It's basically flat boring Pleasantville with a huge outdoor mall as the center of entertainment.
Austin really is you best bet in terms of finding a significant amount of more liberal laid back non-religious types, but the traffic is horrendous and no matter what it is still a college town..
Bottom line is Texas is awesome if you just want some place warm to live that has a good standard of living. If your priorities are to maximize income, have a big house at minimal cost, and be able to accomplish errands and daily tasks easily (everything can be had at the strip mall), the Texas is for you.. If "cool" laid back people, cultural activities, diverse ethic people and restaurants, parks, or any type of beautiful surroundings/architecture are important to you-- or should I say more important than the positives I noticed, then stay the fuck away from Texas.
Myself, I moved here because my mother was sick, and have since stayed because I've got a serious Golden Handcuff situation through my job here. As soon as that runs dry or I can't tolerate it anymore, I'll be taking my savings and moving to somewhere in California.
Baltimore can have some nice housing for decent prices and no you won't be living in the fucking Wire. I have found that work is pretty decent to find in the 695 to Ft. Meade Corridor.
I'd rather pay a little bit more and live out in Glen Burnie or some place similar. Not to mention parking in Baltimore is shit all around and unless you're lucky you'll probably be paying an extra $100 - $200/month for parking as well.
If you think California is any different, I direct you to the Real Housewives of Orange County... there are just as many insanely vapid people in California as there are in Texas, they just generally find the need to fake being religious a little less compelling. It definitely is more laid back there though, less formal-religiousness and less formal business practices. Everything is a bit more surfer dude. If thats your thing, great, you'll like it. If you're expecting some total hotbed of liberal groupthink, make sure you move to San Francisco proper or maybe the Valley in LA. Plenty of red counties in California as well.
Dallas County is overwhelmingly blue if it makes you feel better.
Agree 100% about Plano, but there's pockets that are okay there. Definitely have to look around.
Every place is what you make of it.
I would actually be moving to either plano or mesquite. I could care lesss about the culture - assholes are everywhere. More go to work, go home, save money.
Based on advice here and from other people, I've decided against the military route. Even working for a defense contractor like Raytheon will pay better and is local.
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