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Thread: Marriage and The Power of Divorce - No redpill discussion

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Marriage and The Power of Divorce - No redpill discussion

    I used to think getting married was a good idea. After a couple long term relationships gone sour (being cheated on, crazy mothers etc.) I can't conceive of a situation where getting married would make me more happy then it would make me perpetually insecure. You are essentially entering into a contract with someone who has a huge law advantage on there side should things go wrong.

    My little sister is getting married in two months so I have been thinking about it more then normal and it just seems like men are forced into a death trap here.

    Then I read this today.

    "Wife of Millionaire Wins "Unprecedented" Case to Overturn Prenup Agreement"
    http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love...182017682.html

    Thoughts?

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    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    I could probably rant about this for hours, but having grown up in an environment where my mother/father combined had three vicious divorces by the time I was eighteen, I'm not exactly the biggest proponent of marriage. Let's just say that when I saw Kramer vs Kramer as a teenager I thought it was a light hearted comedy. The law was on the side of my mom/stepmom, and by the end of his 2nd divorce my father was not only emotionally broken, but significantly poorer as well.

    Not to be a cynic, but you pay for the big ass wedding, the engagement ring, most likely support her, then pay her ass when she wants to divorce you. Pay to get in, pay to get out..

    Not saying it will never happen-- if you live in the US, even moreso the south, and you aren't dating white trash, the expectation is marriage if you want a kid, and I want a kid.. I'll be damned if I go in without a prenup though.

    I think a properly written prenup will still hold. In the case of that article, he made promises in his prenup he failed to keep.

    Still, the fact that in this day and age, a 40K a year secretary can marry a millionaire, live in the lap of luxury for years, squirt out a few kids, cheat on her husband, then sue for divorce and make off with child custody and enough money to never have to work again is mind boggling.
    Last edited by Frenzied Wombat; 03-12-2013 at 08:46 PM.

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    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    My thought is, if you're getting married, don't be a dick and coerce your wife in to signing a pre-nup 4 fucking days before the wedding. That kind of shit should have been talked about and finalized long before. No shit that's coercive to bust that out 96 hours before the wedding. There was another recent case in Canada with some super wealthy family where the judge decided against the husband because a lot of the prenup was "unconscionable". There was some pretty awful shit in there. On top of that, the husband hired PI's and shit and tried to make his ex appear to be a psycho (which she may well have been, who knows).

    Like any contract or agreement, they can be litigated and argued about till the ends of the earth well after they're agreed to. Nothing is iron clad. Should I ever get tricked in to thinking that marriage is a good idea, I'll have to do some research and soul searching myself to determine how I want to approach that issue, because I'd be walking in to pretty much any marriage with far more assets than my potential wife will be, and quite frankly that shit is mine. This isn't the 50's where the woman got married at 19 and never pursued a career in order to be a house wife.

    At the end of the day the most important thing is to not marry a greedy and vindictive cunt I guess. Good luck spotting them in advance!
    Last edited by Eomer; 03-12-2013 at 08:49 PM.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frenzied Wombat View Post
    I could probably rant about this for hours, but having grown up in an environment where my mother/father combined had three vicious divorces by the time I was eighteen, I'm not exactly the biggest proponent of marriage. Let's just say that when I saw Kramer vs Kramer as a teenager I thought it was a light hearted comedy. The law was on the side of my mom/stepmom, and by the end of his 2nd divorce my father was not only emotionally broken, but significantly poorer as well.

    Not to be a cynic, but you pay for the big ass wedding, the engagement ring, most likely support her, then pay her ass when she wants to divorce you. Pay to get in, pay to get out..
    From my immediate family only 2 people are divorced my uncle and one of my grandfathers. I like to think that I have a fairly healthy upbringing when it comes to marriage. My uncles divorce was an ugly one though and the kind of example that scares me the most.

    Nicest guy you will ever meet gets married. Has a kid. Wife cheats, takes kid, money. My uncle spends the next 16 years fighting for his daughter and paying his wife every extra cent he has. 0 fucks given by the wife who lives a comfortable life and shows up to court to shut him down while he scrapes by.

    It seems like no matter what kind of man or person you are if you get married you are at the mercy of the woman you marry. You can do everything right and get your entire life fucked over on a whim of an emotional creature.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eomer View Post

    Like any contract or agreement, they can be litigated and argued about till the ends of the earth well after they're agreed to. Nothing is iron clad. Should I ever get tricked in to thinking that marriage is a good idea, I'll have to do some research and soul searching myself to determine how I want to approach that issue, because I'd be walking in to pretty much any marriage with far more assets than my potential wife will be, and quite frankly that shit is mine. This isn't the 50's where the woman got married at 19 and never pursued a career in order to be a house wife.
    Marriage without a prenup is still a contract. One that favors the woman in irrational ways in this day and age. If it was a business contract where two parties had money and investment on the line and one of the parties has that kind of sway, no one in their right mind would ever sign it.

    But men do because of "love" or whatever.
    Last edited by Grumpus; 03-12-2013 at 08:52 PM.

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    I read that article yesterday, I don't really see what is so out of order about it. The guy got her to sign a prenup like 2 days prior to the marriage and he promised all kinds of shit that he never followed through with. So now that he's off banging his secretary or whatever he wanted to leave his wife destitute. The courts were like "Oh hell nah" and T-Doggged it up.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    I read that article yesterday, I don't really see what is so out of order about it. The guy got her to sign a prenup like 2 days prior to the marriage and he promised all kinds of shit that he never followed through with. So now that he's off banging his secretary or whatever he wanted to leave his wife destitute. The courts were like "Oh hell nah" and T-Doggged it up.
    I agree, the dude is a piece of shit and deserved what he got.

    But the precedent that has been set is scary as fuck. Less and less rights for men when it comes to marriage.

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    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    I think so much of one's view on marriage and the success of their own marriage depends on their family history. My parents were high school sweet hearts and still together. My husband's parents were married at 22~ and still together. I grew up with seeing a healthy marriage and that is normal for me so I think it is easier for me to have a similar marriage.

    I understand how people can have such negative views on marriage these days when divorce is such a major factor in our society. My own personal belief, based on no fact just feeling, is that as we spend longer as an individual and get married later, marriages are more likely to be difficult. People get more and more set in their habits as they get older and compromise is harder. I was married young and have spent my entire adulthood (as short as it has been so far) growing and changing along with my husband. Our lives and tastes have developed together, we don't have to deal with compromising over annoying shit the other person has done for the last 20 years.

    Dunno... I'm super traditional so I strongly believe in marriage, family and all that jazz so I know it colors the way I think.

    And pre-nups... entering a marriage with a legal document about your inevitable divorce just seems like you are dooming the whole thing.

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    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    I agree that divorce favors women a ridiculous amount and that needs to change but some perspective....

    I dropped out of college to move to another country to be with my husband at 19. We were married, moved to yet another country and I was pregnant relatively soon after. I now have 3 kids (one under a year), never finished college and don't live in my home country or near any relatives. The thought of divorce terrifies me. If my husband was to up and leave, I have nothing. The choices we made together have left me in a vulnerable position as far as "what if he wasn't around". I wouldn't change anything about my life - I love being a stay at home mom, I love my kids and my husband.... but it is scary to think that I have never had a real job and doubt I could make a wage that would even cover daycare.

    The whole, female gets the kids and money thing is garbage but I think there does need to be some sort of protection for someone in a position like this, regardless of gender.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    My own personal belief, based on no fact just feeling
    There it is, right there. The reason why I think marriage is a death trap.

    For the same reason you believe strongly in marriage is the reason why it is so dangerous for me. I'm assuming you are a woman. So you have the power to decide your husbands fate in a way if you get divorced. So the weight is off your shoulders as far as choosing to end it is concerned.

    If you decide you don't want to be with him anymore you can get a divorce and come out of it potentially in an even better situation. Where your husband would be worse off. On an emotional whim.

    If a man wants to end a marriage and move on he has to think. Am I going to lose my house? Half my pay cheque? When will I get to see my kids? Will another man be raising my kids?

    When you enter into marriage and the choice to end it favors 1 person over the other something is very very wrong.
    Last edited by Grumpus; 03-12-2013 at 09:05 PM.

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    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    That is a bit naive. I don't know a ton about American divorce law, but it isn't *as* one sided as you are making it out to be.

    The person who makes more, regardless of gender, has to think about that.

    The world isn't just scumbag women trying to rip of poor unsuspecting men.

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    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eomer View Post
    At the end of the day the most important thing is to not marry a greedy and vindictive cunt I guess. Good luck spotting them in advance!
    This. I've dated quite a few that I thought were the nicest sweetest things on the planet. But when the relationship was ending, and they were "out", they turned into the most ferocious vindictive creatures imaginable. True Jekyll and Hydes.

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    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus View Post
    I agree, the dude is a piece of shit and deserved what he got.

    But the precedent that has been set is scary as fuck. Less and less rights for men when it comes to marriage.
    No precedent has been set with that case, near as I can tell. Prenups get thrown out all the time for similar reasons. As do many other contractual agreements, for a whole variety of reasons.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus
    When you enter into marriage and the choice to end it favors 1 person over the other something is very very wrong.
    That's because in the past, women did need those protections. And in some cases, they still do. lindz's situation is a good example. She more or less gave up any hope of having a well paying career or even completing her education in order to move for her husband's job and rear his children. It's only fair that if things did end, that he would have to support her and the children since she would be unable to on her own. That was a choice both of them made together. If you don't want to run that risk, don't get married and have kids in the first place, or if you do, don't do it so young that the wife never has a chance at an education or career.
    Last edited by Eomer; 03-12-2013 at 09:16 PM.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    The world isn't just scumbag women trying to rip of poor unsuspecting men.
    The world is emotional human beings and where marriage is concerned the more emotional of the two parties carries the majority of the power.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eomer View Post
    No precedent has been set with that case, near as I can tell. Prenups get thrown out all the time for similar reasons.
    I had never heard of it before. But then again my sister is getting married in 2 months so it has been on my mind.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    And i'm not saying marriage isn't ok if it works out. Like I said, pretty healthy upbringing as far as marriage goes. Most of my family members are still together.

    And the thought of marriage, death do us part and all the shit is cool.

    But the law is scary and abstract.

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    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    I'm trying to find the one in Canada from a couple months ago that was similar, but all I'm turning up is this recent one. Regardless, like I said, any contractual agreement can be litigated.

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    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    That is a bit naive. I don't know a ton about American divorce law, but it isn't *as* one sided as you are making it out to be.

    The person who makes more, regardless of gender, has to think about that.

    The world isn't just scumbag women trying to rip of poor unsuspecting men.
    The thing is, it's still fairly rare for a woman to marry a man that makes less. Money and height are still two things that women are hung up on despite a change in the modern workforce.

    Sure, it isn't totally one-sided, but it is getting worse. Take a look at the new age of reality TV, specifically the shows geared towards young women. Millionaire Matchmaker, the Housewives of X, all those stupid wedding shows.. All shows on how to be a spendthrift vapid bitch at the expense of your rich husband.

    If the situation is such that you gave up a career to be with your husband, then yes in a divorce that should be accounted for. However, what is happening far too often in the US is that the man is a 2nd class citizen when it comes to divorce rights. It's actually worse in Canada, or at least in Quebec. I grew up there and my dad got taken to the freakin' cleaners.
    Last edited by Frenzied Wombat; 03-12-2013 at 09:23 PM.

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    Steals Video Games TecKnoe's Avatar
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    I honestly dont see the point in getting married, if two people love eachother isnt that enough? marriage just feels like something women think they need to do in their lifetime, like having a kid.

    I dont ever hear about a dude talking about how he cant wait to get married and have all these things go on and happen at his wedding, we dont give a shit we are just along for the ride.

    My parents arent married have been together for 35 years, both my uncles divorced twice, and each marriage lasted less than 8 years, so in my eyes marriage is a sham, if you wanna buy a ring and put it on her finger and all that sure, claim that whore to be yours but like grump said, marriage is a death trap for 90% of men.

    Who in their right mind would enter a business contract, knowing in the end they are most likely going to lose... thats what it comes down to for me, if i want out im fucked, if you want out you're golden.. fuck that.
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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    I know you guys hate analogies but its like if you signed up to a gym. And the contract said that if you stop going you still have to pay fee's for a year. Okay that's fair its your choice. Would anyone sign a contract that had that clause plus one that said if the gym decided they didn't want you working out there that you still had to pay a years worth of fee's?

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Seriously bro, it sounds like you're having a sad because you had a bad breakup. That may not be what it is, but all this talk about feeling pwoerless before the law and women being emotional and all that sounds like a projection of your sad. It gets better.

    it-gets-better.jpg

    I try not to spend any time worrying about what would happen if my wife left me. She is in kind of the same position as lindz is, she moved very far to be with me and is a stay at home mom and didn't finish college. Yet anyway. I feel like a know her pretty well, and yeah she is crazy at times. Women, bro. But I feel like I know her well enough that she won't go crazy and leave me and try to take my millions. At this point I don't even look at it as "my" money really, we're building a family and a life together, the money and assets and shit go with that.

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    Registered User mkopec's Avatar
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    /shrugs, this dude that I work with gets an alimony because his wife made more than him.

    But women usually definitely have the advantage. The scariest thing for me is losing my kids. Well not really losing them, but losing the ability to see them every day. That would probably break me.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Seriously bro, it sounds like you're having a sad because you had a bad breakup. That may not be what it is, but all this talk about feeling pwoerless before the law and women being emotional and all that sounds like a projection of your sad. It gets better.
    No break up. The thing that got me thinking about it was last night my grandparents where over. They have had an amazing marriage. True love and all that bull shit. And they were giving my little sister a wedding gift.

    My grandma said to me "If you ever get married we will get you a nice wedding gift to"

    I had no clue what to say because I have no intention of ever getting married. My little sister is getting married at 19 years old, to a guy that's 20. Making a huge mistake and she is getting praise for it, and presents.

    I don't have the heart to tell my grandparents that will most likely be dead soon that marriage is bullshit when if one of them passes the other will likely follow from a broken heart. Yet they are so happy at the thought of me getting married.

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus View Post
    No break up. The thing that got me thinking about it was last night my grandparents where over. They have had an amazing marriage. True love and all that bull shit. And they were giving my little sister a wedding gift.

    My grandma said to me "If you ever get married we will get you a nice wedding gift to"

    I had no clue what to say because I have no intention of ever getting married. My little sister is getting married at 19 years old, to a guy that's 20. Making a huge mistake and she is getting praise for it, and presents.

    I don't have the heart to tell my grandparents that will most likely be dead soon that marriage is bullshit when if one of them passes the other will likely follow from a broken heart. Yet they are so happy at the thought of me getting married.
    Maybe it isn't a huge mistake, none of us know. Statistically sure, it is doomed to fail. But we don't really know, all you can do is hope for the best.

    Marriage isn't bullshit. For some people, it just isn't right. But for some people it is. If it isn't right for you, then it just is what it is. There are plenty of women out there who aren't looking for marriage necessarily but still a relationship.If the legal thing is the only thing stopping you, don't think that just not getting married absolves you of liability, because it doesn't.

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    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkopec
    /shrugs, this dude that I work with gets an alimony because his wife made more than him.
    haha, what a fag

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Maybe it isn't a huge mistake, none of us know. Statistically sure, it is doomed to fail. But we don't really know, all you can do is hope for the best.
    Neither of them have ever lived on their own. They both work at a dollar store. They have no savings. The have been chaperoned while dating. Never slept together.

    When she grows up and realizes she wasted her youth and wants a change she will be able to take this guy to the cleaners and restart her life as she sees fit. When a marriage is started on such stupidity it will end the same way.

    Even if she is my sister. Humans are humans and look out for themselves first.

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Maybe, maybe not. It sounds like they are in similar places financially so I doubt she'll be able to get much of anything. I wouldn't stress about it. My sister did plenty of stupid shit, if I learned anything from that mess it was that I should have just told her the truth and supported her regardless. Don't sugarcoat it but also dn't be overly judgmental or whatever.

    Chaperoned while dating? are you mormon or something?

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Maybe, maybe not. It sounds like they are in similar places financially so I doubt she'll be able to get much of anything. I wouldn't stress about it. My sister did plenty of stupid shit, if I learned anything from that mess it was that I should have just told her the truth and supported her regardless. Don't sugarcoat it but also dn't be overly judgmental or whatever.

    Chaperoned while dating? are you mormon or something?
    They are Jehovah's Witnesses....and Chaperoned to a fucking retarded extent. When they go on dates they go in separate cars so they aren't alone together in the car.

    Yesterday my sister asked me to drive around with them to hand out wedding invitations. She said if I didn't they would have to drive around to the same fucking houses...in different cars.

    I told her fuck no and so they drove around in two cars.

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    Steals Video Games TecKnoe's Avatar
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    chaos how long have you been married/with your wife? ive always wanted to ask the question, what if you never got married would you two still be together? or is that little contract what is really holding two people together, as i said my parents never got married, still together 35 years, and both uncles had 2 divorces each, and i dont have any friends that have been married a long time, im only 26 so never really had anyone to ask the question too.
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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    I'm 27 and agnostic/atheist whatever you want to call it btw if that tells you anything.

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.

    Although... I remember seeing something about people who didn't live together or have sex prior to marriage having a much lower divorce rate than those who did.

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    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TecKnoe View Post
    chaos how long have you been married/with your wife? ive always wanted to ask the question, what if you never got married would you two still be together? or is that little contract what is really holding two people together, as i said my parents never got married, still together 35 years, and both uncles had 2 divorces each, and i dont have any friends that have been married a long time, im only 26 so never really had anyone to ask the question too.
    We've known each other for like 8 years I think and been married for almost 5. We got married because she got pregnant and didn't have insurance. That doesn't sound romantic or whatever, but it was the right decision. We would have gotten married eventually anyway, just not right then. I think that without the kids or the marriage we would definitely still be together, but there's no way to tell.

    I was previously married though, that marriage was a huge mistake. I was young and fucking retarded and married a girl that I never should have even been with, much less married. My wife was in a pretty long relationship prior to this that ended pretty shittily. Stuff happens, you move on. It is all about the right people, but I'm sure plenty of people thought they had found the right people only to find out later maybe not.

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    We've known each other for like 8 years I think and been married for almost 5. We got married because she got pregnant and didn't have insurance. That doesn't sound romantic or whatever, but it was the right decision.
    That makes more sense to me then getting married for the sake of getting married.

    In a world where girls grow up watching fairy tale movies and read fairy tale stories. Men getting married to appease the more emotional of the two sexes and the more emotional having the power to both end the marriage and to profit from it is to crazy for me to get behind.

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    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus View Post
    That makes more sense to me then getting married for the sake of getting married.

    In a world where girls grow up watching fairy tale movies and read fairy tale stories. Men getting married to appease the more emotional of the two sexes and the more emotional having the power to both end the marriage and to profit from it is to crazy for me to get behind.
    Again, that is naive Grumpus.

    Tons of men get married because they want to. Because it is something that feels right to them and means a lot.

    There are people that don't want to get married because they just don't which is fine, but to say all men just get married for the sake of the dumb bitches in their life is just childish.

    Honestly, this entire discussion from you has sounded like the beliefs of a 16 year old that has just been dumped by the girl he thought was the one.

    Yeah women have their crazy moments, men have the asshole moments but most people are not as one dimensional and stupid as you are making them out to be.

  33. #33
    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.
    ^

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    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    Tons of men get married because they want to. Because it is something that feels right to them and means a lot.
    This isn't the 1950's, the majority of woman these days don't possess the quality's to make a man feel this way.

    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    Honestly, this entire discussion from you has sounded like the beliefs of a 16 year old that has just been dumped by the girl he thought was the one.
    Read rest of the thread I explained why I am upset about this topic recently.

    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    most people are not as one dimensional and stupid as you are making them out to be.
    What world do you live in? Saying that makes you look like the naive one.

  35. #35
    Registered User Xasten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus View Post
    But the precedent that has been set is scary as fuck. Less and less rights for men when it comes to marriage.
    It's not that out of the ordinary as it's already been said. Pre-nups are contracts, and while States may have some additional rules for them (state interest in marriage etc.), at the end of the day it's still an agreement. In any form of contractual litigation fraud is THE universal solvent. All she did here was prove that he defrauded her/that her signature was not voluntary.

    The reason this case is getting press is probably because she succeed at meeting a very VERY high standard. In Texas, for example, pre-nups can be voided only under very strict circumstances such as if they are not signed "voluntarily." This could possibly mean having your fiancee threaten to cancel the wedding 30 seconds before it happens, hold a gun to your head, or whatever. The difficulty comes in because the signed document creates a presumption of voluntariness that you have to rebut. This case is news because she actually met that burden.

    Texas has not violated a prenup is over 27 years on grounds of "voluntariness." So, it's kind of a bitch to prove. Had this guy pulled out the prenup ahead of time (ALI model statues say 30 days or more), had lawyers for both him and her present, and been a bit smarter with the drafting language, he could have easily had it stand. It sounds like he put a bunch of crap in there (first born son I'll throw it away, etc.) and it bit him in the ass.

    Contractual obligations cut both ways Ser Davos, and she proved that he just didn't live up to his and defrauded her.

  36. #36
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    I live in a regular old middle class neighborhood in the Pacific Northwest, not some reality show in Malibu.

    I get that your sister is being some crazy religious freak but the rest of this sounds like you are living the Jersey Shore or whatever the fuck is on these days.

    I'm glad I don't live in that world honestly lol.

  37. #37
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    I live in a regular old middle class neighborhood in the Pacific Northwest, not some reality show in Malibu.

    I get that your sister is being some crazy religious freak but the rest of this sounds like you are living the Jersey Shore or whatever the fuck is on these days.

    I'm glad I don't live in that world honestly lol.
    That's what im trying to say though. You are a woman, you have nothing to be worried about if you so choose. As long as you look decent and make less money then the man you are with, you have no weight on your shoulders should your marriage end.

    Apart from the heartache and all that.

    You don't live in my world, you have a vagina.

    If I want to get married "Can I trust her with my kids,money,property, life"

    If a woman wants to get married "Does he have enough money?"

    If you want the kids, you can take them, if you want money you can have it, property to be taken. And you can choose to drag him through the courts if you feel like being malicious.
    Last edited by Grumpus; 03-12-2013 at 11:23 PM.

  38. #38
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpus View Post
    That's what im trying to say though. You are a woman, you have nothing to be worried about if you so choose. As long as you look decent and make less money then the man you are with, you have no weight on your shoulders should your marriage end.

    Apart from the heartache and all that.

    You don't live in my world, you have a vagina.

    If I want to get married "Can I trust her with my kids,money,property, life"

    If a woman wants to get married "Does he have enough money?"

    If you want the kids, you can take them, if you want money you can have it, property to be taken. And you can choose to drag him through the courts if you feel like being malicious.
    You are missing the point of marriage entirely though. You don't enter into marriage thinking "Can I trust her with my kids,money,property, life". If that IS what you are thinking, that isn't the right person for you. When you find that person, you are looking towards the rest of your life together, not dreading the end of it.

    Read my earlier post, yes if I were to get divorced tomorrow I would have a ton to worry about. Sure I would get alimony and child support but I would also have to start over, at 28 where I should have been at 18. And do that with 3 kids.

    I get that I will never totally understand your point of view, but I live with, sleep with and talk with a man every day and we do talk about things like this. I do understand some of it.

    Like Chaos said earlier, at some point it doesn't become about "his money" and "her money", it is your family and yes, both parties are entitled to split that if they should separate because they worked together to build that family.

    You obviously don't understand marriage which is totally cool given that you haven't met that person yet, but if and when you do, those things will not be the concern you are making them out to be now.
    Last edited by lindz; 03-12-2013 at 11:40 PM.

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    The advent of the internet means you hear about the crazy fucks more. I had a friend who after ~15 years of marriage with his wife (no kids, never wanted them), decided to get divorced... and it was amicable. They never fought over it and just split everything down the middle. Even when their house wasn't selling (~2009) and was holding up everything being final, she bought out his half at fair market value, which I doubt they would have gotten.

    Honestly, there are a lot of cool women out there that aren't psychotic, you just read/hear about them less.

  40. #40
    HE A GOOD BOY Iannis's Avatar
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    Well gents, the moral of the story is that marriage is forever. If you don't stay married till you die, you'll probably wind up wishing you had.

    Be smart. Buy/rent something with a 2nd story. Just in case.

  41. #41
    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    You are missing the point of marriage entirely though. You don't enter into marriage thinking "Can I trust her with my kids,money,property, life". If that IS what you are thinking, that isn't the right person for you. When you find that person, you are looking towards the rest of your life together, not dreading the end of it.
    Well, this is a perfect example of emotion vs pragmatism. Nobody gets married thinking "my husband/wife will cheat on me in 5 years", "she will take my kids and use them as pawns against me one day, "she will shop me into debt", etc. Everybody gets married (I hope) with the thought of living happily ever after. Every man/women honestly *believes* that the person standing at the alter with them is the best thing since sliced bread. Yet the reality is far different; the divorce rate is over 50%, and 70+% of those divorces are initiated by the woman (I'll let someone else comment on why that stat is higher btw). So everybody goes into these marriages thinking YES, I "can trust her with my kids, money, property, life", yet 50% of the time they are woefully wrong. Seems like people should be thinking "Can I trust her with my kids, money, property, etc" a lot more.

    I have witnessed the most loving couples degrade into an all out shit-slinging divorce holocaust of epic legal proportions.

    Sure, women want their epic Cinderella romance marriage, and a prenup puts a damper on that, but any man who makes significantly more than the darling he plans to marry is a fool to get married without one these days.

  42. #42
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frenzied Wombat View Post
    Sure, women want their epic Cinderella romance marriage, and a prenup puts a damper on that, but any man who makes significantly more than the darling he plans to marry is a fool to get married without one these days.
    That is part of the problem. No man can live up to the fairy tales girls grow up watching and reading. And they don't make woman like they used to.

  43. #43
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Yeah... i haven't met a single woman I would take seriously as a person or a partner who actually goes for that fairy tale shit. If you're not just trolling lindz with that shit, you need to meet some different women.

  44. #44
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Yeah... i haven't met a single woman I would take seriously as a person or a partner who actually goes for that fairy tale shit. If you're not just trolling lindz with that shit, you need to meet some different women.
    I don't date woman that are in to that stuff. If during the first couple conversations I find out they are into Twilight or only watch chick flicks I bounce.

    I like to think that the right girl for me won't want to get married anyways. Getting married when your kids are in college sounds about right type of thing.

  45. #45
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Meh, you can't stereotype too much. My wife likes Twilight and Laurell Hamilton books, whatever, she's a girl, she likes girl shit. We also have shared interests and not so shared interests.

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    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    You think that long term relationships that have children, shared funds, etc can't end the same way? Both people have rights there too regardless of whether or not they actually signed a marriage license.

    Anyways, this debate is silly. Trying to argue the merits of marriage with men who think women are the devil on a predominantly male forum doesn't work very well.

  47. #47
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    Anyways, this debate is silly. Trying to argue the merits of marriage with men who think women are the devil on a predominantly male forum doesn't work very well.
    Where did I say woman are the devil? I said that woman are more emotional and prone to emotional decisions. This doesn't bode well in situations where the law favors woman. Especially where heartache and breakups are concerned.

    This debate is interesting and your opinion as a woman is appreciated.

  48. #48
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    I also enjoy chick flicks and other dumb girly shit (altho not that reality crap). I'm also a hardcore gamer who has lead end game raiding guilds.

    Just don't date psychotic, vapid cunts and you'll be fine.

  49. #49
    Music Elitist Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    Just don't date psychotic, vapid cunts and you'll be fine.
    That's asking a lot.

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    Dr. Ruse Ruseberg Tarrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    Just don't date psychotic, vapid cunts and you'll be fine.
    Tell them to stop being so good in bed and maybe we will.

  51. #51
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarrant View Post
    Tell them to stop being so good in bed and maybe we will.
    This.

    I didn't say I wouldn't fuck a chick who reads Twilight.

  52. #52
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Double post.

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    Registered Dragonlord Deathwing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.

    Although... I remember seeing something about people who didn't live together or have sex prior to marriage having a much lower divorce rate than those who did.
    How much you want to bet most people that don't live together or have sex prior to marriage also strongly believe god doesn't want them to get a divorce?

  54. #54
    Registered User Celestein's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post

    And pre-nups... entering a marriage with a legal document about your inevitable divorce just seems like you are dooming the whole thing.
    Marriage is also a contract about your inevitable divorce, so...checkmate?

  55. #55
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celestein View Post
    Marriage is also a contract about your inevitable divorce, so...checkmate?
    "I promise to love and cherish you until death do us part"

    How is that about divorce? :\

  56. #56
    scientia potentia est Cad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    "I promise to love and cherish you until death do us part"

    How is that about divorce? :\
    Thats not the contract part.

    The contract part is the implicit agreement that you make to divide assets and continuing income in the event of divorce. This contract is implied by law and only overridden by an explicit contract known as a pre-nuptual agreement.

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    Mister Manager Eyashusa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Heh ok I take back everything I said, those people are fucked.

    Although... I remember seeing something about people who didn't live together or have sex prior to marriage having a much lower divorce rate than those who did.
    I went to a "christian" college for undergrad. I know plenty of people who didn't have sex or live together before marriage. Their divorce rate is the same as everyone else and the majority of them didn't make it past 2 years.

  58. #58
    Delicious Noodles Noodleface's Avatar
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    I'm getting married in August.. at first I was really excited but now she's pulling a lot of the "we're married, I'm going to yell at you all day and withhold sex for months" shit.

    For serious, how to fix? It's getting out of hand. I do want to marry her, that is not the question. But her attitude about all this stuff is depressing.

  59. #59
    Registered Dragonlord Deathwing's Avatar
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    What is she yelling at you about?

  60. #60
    Registered User Celestein's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindz View Post
    "I promise to love and cherish you until death do us part"

    How is that about divorce? :\
    Essentially what Cad said, a marriage contract itself is nothing but an agreement about how you'll divide assets if you divorce.

    Being against prenups but for marriage is a contradiction.

  61. #61
    scientia potentia est Cad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    I'm getting married in August.. at first I was really excited but now she's pulling a lot of the "we're married, I'm going to yell at you all day and withhold sex for months" shit.

    For serious, how to fix? It's getting out of hand. I do want to marry her, that is not the question. But her attitude about all this stuff is depressing.
    If its started before you're even married.... what do you want me to tell you, its going to get better?

  62. #62
    Music Elitist Alex's Avatar
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    Yeah, Noodleface. It doesn't sound like you're heading into a desirable situation. You think it's bad now?

  63. #63
    Dr. Ruse Ruseberg Tarrant's Avatar
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    Sex should never be a weapon, if she wants to pull that shit tell her you'll go look elsewhere. Fuck that.

  64. #64
    Registered Dragonlord Deathwing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cad View Post
    If its started before you're even married.... what do you want me to tell you, its going to get better?
    Depends on what stage of the relationship they are in. I know my wife and I fought a lot after moving in together and sharing a bank account. Basically living space and money issues. This was years ago and we got over it eventually.

  65. #65
    Registered User ToeMissile's Avatar
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    Or ask her why she's pissed off? Maybe she's just stressed and isn't dealing with it well? Not that it makes what she's doing ok.

  66. #66
    Delicious Noodles Noodleface's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deathwing View Post
    What is she yelling at you about?
    Small shit.. like if I forget to grab the mail, or I sit on the couch wrong, or I move

  67. #67
    scientia potentia est Cad's Avatar
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    Whats she do when you tell her to quit being a whiny cunt and then leave and go to the strip club with your bros and get a handy?

  68. #68
    Dr. Ruse Ruseberg Tarrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Small shit.. like if I forget to grab the mail, or I sit on the couch wrong, or I move
    ROFL my wife does that sorta shit all the time. I just laugh at her. Sometimes I type to loud, sometimes I clip my fingernails to loudly. She once told me "If you're just going to read you may as well just go in the room, you aren't being helpful to anything." I asked her what I was supposed to be helping and she just said "anything." We were literally just sitting there, her on her laptop and me sitting with a book.

    You just gotta laugh that shit off as them being stupid. Make sure she sees and hears you laugh about it and just keep doing your thing.

  69. #69
    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Small shit.. like if I forget to grab the mail, or I sit on the couch wrong, or I move
    Dude, seriously run. If she's all over you about shit like that now it's going to become a living hell once you're married. Don't end up one of those guys that stay late at work because they are afraid to go home. I work with many and it isn't pretty.

  70. #70
    Registered User Elurin's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'd say just keep dating her and never get married. Because once you do, it will only get worse. Just delay the wedding until you get tired of her shit. Those would be some major red flags.

  71. #71
    Registered User mkopec's Avatar
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    Just remember, they are all fucking nuts. It just how much you can put up with.

  72. #72
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    I may be the odd one here but I got married because me and my wife were compatible and more importantly I believed she would make a great mother. That if I should pass away early I felt confident that she could finish raising our children responsibly. So marriage for me, is the creation of a bond that will mature over time through which we can raise a stronger family then I could do so alone.

    Now I know not everyone sees marriage like that but if I was never intending to have kids then I wouldn't bother getting married. Sure there are finicial benefits but those have to be weighed against a divorce. Again this is just how I see it not how I expect everyone else to see it.


    What this means for me is that cheating is far less of a factor if choosing to have a divorce then being a responsible mother is. That's not to say my wife could go sleep around the town but if it ever did happen (say like once) I very much doubt I would divorce her. The more important factor in that situation for me is "Did you do it for the passion/experience?" or "Did you do it because you are falling out of love with me and/or tired of raising the kids?" The reason being if she was falling out of love with me then our damaged compatability could negatively affect the kids whereas if she was doing it for fun then we can show the children that sex and love are two seperate things and that there is more to having an lasting adult relationship then lust.


    I have other unconventional views that all kind of tie together like I think you should date someone you are physically attracted to long enough to be sure they are std free (this is a judgment call) and then you should screw yourselves silly until then passion haze is gone and you can start thinking rationally about each other. Then stop screwing and start really seeing if you are compatible.

    Anyway it is working for us quite well and I've told my wife all of this openly and we have talked about it several times in the beginning but I don't think she is remotely interested in cheating on me. I do know she has lesbian fantasy though but we have never pursued it.

  73. #73
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Small shit.. like if I forget to grab the mail, or I sit on the couch wrong, or I move
    Take a step back and think about how bad it realize is. If it is as bad as you say, now, with no kids or stress or anything, then break up with her right now and move on. You might think "oh these guys are being assholes because internet" but no, no we aren't. I fight with my wife, I argue with my wife, we get frustrated and pick at each other about minor shit sometimes. Normal shit. We always talk it out and it's fine. The difference is, we've been married for years and have a TON of stress right now, and we both understand that. All you have to do right now is fuck and hang out, if that is causing issues you need to bail. I'm telling you this as someone who was in a bad marriage before and had to get divorced. Getting divorced is no bueno. Bail now.

    But if maybe it isn't all that bad and you're just blowing off some steam, then whatever.

  74. #74
    Registered User mkopec's Avatar
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    Yeah I agree, Chaos. Back when we were just dating and first couple of years as married, the wife and I were nothing but happy. No nagging, no bitching, none of that shit he is describing. Not to say that were not happy now, its just different with kids, and alot more stressful.

  75. #75
    Registered User Grumpus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    I'm getting married in August.. at first I was really excited but now she's pulling a lot of the "we're married, I'm going to yell at you all day and withhold sex for months" shit.

    For serious, how to fix? It's getting out of hand. I do want to marry her, that is not the question. But her attitude about all this stuff is depressing.
    Quote Originally Posted by chaos View Post
    Take a step back and think about how bad it realize is. If it is as bad as you say, now, with no kids or stress or anything, then break up with her right now and move on. You might think "oh these guys are being assholes because internet" but no, no we aren't. I fight with my wife, I argue with my wife, we get frustrated and pick at each other about minor shit sometimes. Normal shit. We always talk it out and it's fine. The difference is, we've been married for years and have a TON of stress right now, and we both understand that. All you have to do right now is fuck and hang out, if that is causing issues you need to bail. I'm telling you this as someone who was in a bad marriage before and had to get divorced. Getting divorced is no bueno. Bail now.

    But if maybe it isn't all that bad and you're just blowing off some steam, then whatever.
    This is what i'm talking about. People feel obligated to get married after a period of time. And once they propose it's even worse, even if someone starts to show their true colors during the stressful planning process. They even have TV shows about woman acting like Nazi's Bridezilla etc. And the men are like "Oh well, I already proposes".

    And then they get married and lose half their shit.

    Why? Because if you broke off and engagement people think you're a jerk? If one of my bro's made a realization that his wife to be was a whore in disguise and broke off the engagement I would throw him "You are really smart and have massive balls" party.

    If you choose to be with someone that isn't right for you fine. Move in together and share money and deal with the fallout. But don't get married and sign a contract that says half your life is hers.

    Because chances are if things go south she will be the one ending it. Woman are way better at rationalizing shit like divorce. Again, the more emotional party.

  76. #76
    Rav Scam-Free Zone
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    Do you have a poster of Sartre on your wall?

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    I absolutely agree that the idea of marriage is colored by how you were brought up and what you are influenced by. When I was 21, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was get married. Mostly because I wanted to still go out, have fun, do what I want to do and not have to answer for it. I still got married younger than I wanted to (24) and it didn't turn out well. The girl was younger and grew up in a town where everyone gets married at 18 and starts spitting out kids. Needless to say, she and I changed and realized it was a really dumb decision to get married because at the end of the day neither of us truly appreciated what marriage was. And this was a chick who grew up with the notion that the end goal was marriage.

    This is why I disagree with the notion that people should get married young. I think a lot of people, especially younger people, get married for a ton of reasons that really have nothing to do with wanting to be with someone the rest of their life. I would hazard a guess that if you looked up the divorce rate of those under 25 and been married less than 5 years, the numbers would be staggering.

  78. #78
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    how do you guys feel about female asking for a prenup to keep her shit and the male gets nothing in the case of divorce (and he will agree to it).

  79. #79
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    If I felt like I needed a prenup or if she did, then I wouldn't get married.

  80. #80
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    it's mostly for residential benefits.

  81. #81
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    If this is a marriage of convenience then sure, whatever. If this is an actual relationship, then for me no. But different people look at relationships differently.

  82. #82
    Megistered Jooserockey Eomer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trollface View Post
    how do you guys feel about female asking for a prenup to keep her shit and the male gets nothing in the case of divorce (and he will agree to it).
    That's entirely up to the the couple to decide. Whatever floats their boat. It's becoming more and more common for women to have a higher education and earning power than their spouses. I would think though that even in those cases, most of the time the woman wouldn't have nearly as much to worry about as compared to the guy in the reverse situation, because the courts and legal system tend to be biased against men.

    Quote Originally Posted by chaos
    If I felt like I needed a prenup or if she did, then I wouldn't get married.
    Curious why you feel that way? From my perspective, it's a matter of pragmatism. I'd be going in to it with the best of intentions and hopefully so would my significant other, but there's a pretty decent chance that shit won't work out in the end. If it doesn't a pre-nup can make the separation/divorce process a lot less painful for both sides. And for people who marry later in life (say late 20's or early 30's) who come in to the marriage with significant assets, shit can get pretty complicated and contentious. Why not spell the terms out in advance?

  83. #83
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    If I felt like there was a decent chance it wouldn't work out, I also wouldn't get married. Like I said earlier, I've been through the bad marriage stuff. I feel like if it is that much of a concern then maybe marriage isn't the answer. If a woman presented that idea to me, it would feel like she is already looking to the end at a time when you're supposed to be forming a partnership. I don't really like the whole idea of it.

  84. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trollface View Post
    how do you guys feel about female asking for a prenup to keep her shit and the male gets nothing in the case of divorce (and he will agree to it).
    Have zero issue with a woman asking for a prenup - my feelings on the matter don't change based upon who wants it.

  85. #85
    Treats objects like women Famm's Avatar
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    There are some seriously whipped ass white knight motherfuckers around here. No wonder Ravven was able to pull thousands of bucks a week out of this board.

  86. #86
    Delicious Noodles Noodleface's Avatar
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    Well, we do have a ton of stress right now so it adds to it. We have a new (small) apartment, both have full time (>50-60 hours per week) jobs, we have a new puppy (HUGE STRESS FUCK), plus I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree while starting on my Masters. Also we're trying to pay off the wedding before it comes. Money isn't exactly tight, but it fluctuates a lot based on what we need to payfor the wedding. I know the stress is huge right now, so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to just end it. Just tired of being yelled at for retarded shit. I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that whenever she yells at me I'm going to pretend I'm super happy. SO far it is pissing her off and it is hilarious.

  87. #87
    Treats objects like women Famm's Avatar
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    You won't end it, this is a preview of the next however many years of your life until she inevitablely starts cheating and then divorces you. Have fun!!!

  88. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    I'm going to pretend I'm super happy.
    Are you ok bro.

  89. #89
    Mister Manager Eyashusa's Avatar
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    Even though I hope it works out, I look forward to your future posts in the Girls Who Broke Your Heart thread.
    Last edited by Eyashusa; 03-14-2013 at 04:41 PM.

  90. #90
    Registered User Frenzied Wombat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Well, we do have a ton of stress right now so it adds to it. We have a new (small) apartment, both have full time (>50-60 hours per week) jobs, we have a new puppy (HUGE STRESS FUCK), plus I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree while starting on my Masters. Also we're trying to pay off the wedding before it comes. Money isn't exactly tight, but it fluctuates a lot based on what we need to payfor the wedding. I know the stress is huge right now, so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to just end it. Just tired of being yelled at for retarded shit. I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that whenever she yells at me I'm going to pretend I'm super happy. SO far it is pissing her off and it is hilarious.

    You might have hope if she continues to work after you're married so that inevitably she has some purpose, and her energy/focus is primarily diverted mostly towards her job. More likely however is she gets knocked up, takes early retirement at your expense after the first kiddo, gets bored/disempowered whilst proclaiming that the Stray at Home Wife job is "such hard work", starts paradoxically raving how you need to spend more time with the family while simultaneously making more money, continues to rant how difficult her Stray at Home Job is despite the fact that the kiddos are now in school full time, spends all day on Facebook and starts flirting with an ex, leaves you and takes the house and kids.. THE END.

    Lol ok maybe not. But the above story happens every day across America
    Last edited by Frenzied Wombat; 03-14-2013 at 05:36 PM.

  91. #91
    Low Information Janitor chaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Well, we do have a ton of stress right now so it adds to it. We have a new (small) apartment, both have full time (>50-60 hours per week) jobs, we have a new puppy (HUGE STRESS FUCK), plus I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree while starting on my Masters. Also we're trying to pay off the wedding before it comes. Money isn't exactly tight, but it fluctuates a lot based on what we need to payfor the wedding. I know the stress is huge right now, so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to just end it. Just tired of being yelled at for retarded shit. I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that whenever she yells at me I'm going to pretend I'm super happy. SO far it is pissing her off and it is hilarious.
    Do you think that is healthy for your relationship, dealing with her outbursts like that? Or do you think you will have less stress a few years from now?

    Don't be that delusional guy. Things don't get easier, ever. This is as easy as your relationship will ever be.

  92. #92
    Registered User K13R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Famm View Post
    There are some seriously whipped ass white knight motherfuckers around here. No wonder Ravven was able to pull thousands of bucks a week out of this board.
    Lol true story

    Quote Originally Posted by Famm View Post
    You won't end it, this is a preview of the next however many years of your life until she inevitablely starts cheating and then divorces you. Have fun!!!
    This is exactly right its not going to get better

    Quote Originally Posted by Frenzied Wombat View Post
    You might have hope if she continues to work after you're married so that inevitably she has some purpose, and her energy/focus is inevitably diverted mostly towards her job. More likely however is she gets knocked up, takes early retirement at your expense after the first kiddo, gets bored/disempowered whilst proclaiming that the Stray at Home Wife job is "such hard work", starts paradoxically raving how you need to spend more time with the family while simultaneously making more money, continues to rant how difficult her Stray at Home Job is despite the fact that the kiddos are now in school full time, spends all day on Facebook and starts flirting with an ex, leaves you and takes the house and kids.. THE END.

    Lol ok maybe not. But the above story happens every day across America
    You forgot going months without pussy cause she wont give it up soon youll donate thousands of dollars ti a wash up gold digger in hopes that youll catch a wife of that clam you get a couple blurry tit pics to beat off to and you well think you got pretty good deal

  93. #93
    Dr. Ruse Ruseberg Tarrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by K13R View Post


    You forgot going months without pussy cause she wont give it up soon youll donate thousands of dollars ti a wash up gold digger in hopes that youll catch a wife of that clam you get a couple blurry tit pics to beat off to and you well think you got pretty good deal
    Be truthful...did you get a 4th grader to write this reply for you?

    Chaos is right, this is as easy as it's ever going to get. If this stuff is annoying you now, imagin how much it'll bug you after a few more years of it because it won't just magically change. You either need to address it now or be prepared to ignore us and be miserable for the next few years and then when you divorce have us all make fun of you for not listening to us.

  94. #94
    Treats objects like women Famm's Avatar
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    This is suppsosed to be the happiest most exciting time of your lives and look how she's acting. I get that marriage is stressful to plan but she's treating you like you're a peice of shit.

  95. #95
    Registered User Haast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleface View Post
    Well, we do have a ton of stress right now so it adds to it. We have a new (small) apartment, both have full time (>50-60 hours per week) jobs, we have a new puppy (HUGE STRESS FUCK), plus I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree while starting on my Masters. Also we're trying to pay off the wedding before it comes. Money isn't exactly tight, but it fluctuates a lot based on what we need to payfor the wedding. I know the stress is huge right now, so that's the only reason I'm hesitant to just end it. Just tired of being yelled at for retarded shit. I came to the conclusion a few weeks ago that whenever she yells at me I'm going to pretend I'm super happy. SO far it is pissing her off and it is hilarious.
    Planning a wedding is stressful and monetarily draining if you're paying for a lot of it yourself. Couple that with jobs and school and I'm sure it is a stressful situation.

    However, antagonizing her while she is being a bitch to you isn't going to fix your problems. Consider have a serious, empathetic conversation with her and trying to get to the root of the outbursts. Having nit-picky fights is pretty natural for any two people having to share close quarters in times of stress. The sex withholding is a red flag, though. Monogamous + no sex = massive failure waiting to happen. You should make that clear when you talk to her.

    Remember, this isn't some dumb broad you are trying to run game on, this is your fiancee. Focus on fixing things. If it becomes clear a fix isn't viable, end it before you make a big, extremely expensive mistake.

  96. #96
    Registered User K13R's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarrant View Post
    Be truthful...did you get a 4th grader to write this reply for you s.
    No I typed it on the little GS3 keyboard between doing shit for my Job but when you come from where I come from having a job that earns you a nice middle class living is a great victory in its self. Don't worry most white people make that same mistake they think that everyone is the same as them especially when they come from an area as white as MN. Thank you for pointing that out I well try harder to live up to your lofty standards of spelling and grammer on internet forum.

    You did a good thing the world is better place with you drawing breath in it. It well be a sad day for humanity when you exit to go be with what ever God you believe in. I'm not sure how we well go on without you tremendous contributions
    Last edited by K13R; 03-14-2013 at 06:05 PM.

  97. #97
    Administrator Draegan's Avatar
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    I skimmed this thread and it's depressing as fuck. I'm coming up on my 2nd wedding anniversary and I'm happy as a motherfucker!

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    This thread is getting good. Don't be sad Drae!

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    Personally I have no interest in marriage until I'm stable career wise. I'd like my potential spouse to be in the same situation as well. The idea of getting married and having one of us sacrifice our career ambitions for a relationship that might not work out has always turned me off.

  100. #100
    #DDs lindz's Avatar
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    Do women actually do the no sex for months thing? I always thought that was just a myth or men exaggerating. I couldn't imagine going several days without sex, but months!? Wth.

    And I agree, this is a depressing thread. I'm happy being married. I live with and am in love with my best friend and we spend time hanging with our kids, playing video games and having sex. Life is good.

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